Caregiver using public bathroom, husband wanders off

Bugs84

My mom is the caregiver and she takes my dad, who has middle stage alzheimer's, to walmart. He follows her around the aisles. If my mom has to go to the bathroom, she doesn't know what to do with him. She has told him to stay with the cart, but she never knows if he'll still be there when she comes out of the bathroom.
It's not a problem when there is a family bathroom, but in the case where there's only mens and womens, not sure what she should do.
Any advice to help him stay with the cart or what other options there are?

Quilting brings calm

I would suggest asking a staff member to 1) verify the women’s restroom restroom is empty and then to 2) ‘guard’ the entrance to it while she takes her spouse in with her.

fmb

When I would have to assist DH in the restroom, we would go into the women's restroom and use the handicapped stall. If I needed to go, he stayed in the stall with me. My rationale was that the women's room had all closed cubicles, but the men's room also had open urinals any my presence in the men's room could cause embarrassment.

H1235

It might be worth planning trips around which places have family restrooms.

harshedbuzz

@Bugs84

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for the reason you are here but pleased you found this place.

There are a lot of answers to your question—

Mom could shop exclusively at stores that have a family bathroom (call ahead to confirm it's open). If the answer is no, she could politely explain the need for such thing and her intention to shop elsewhere.

If mom is able, she could go before she left and avoid needing a bathroom break.

You, or a paid caregiver, could stay with dad at home while she does her shopping.

She could order online and have delivery or curbside pickup.

She could enroll your dad in a day program weekly and do her shopping and appointments on the day(s) he's there.

In a pinch, she could take him into the mens or womens room and use the handicapped stall explaining/handing out Dementia Info cards to anyone who challenges her.

The broader answers to safety issues around a PWD who wanders and solo caregivers include-

Medical Alert bracelets on both parties. His explaining dementia and contact information and hers marked dementia caregiver of dependent PWD and contact information for her Plan B person.

A medical alarm device to be worn by the caregiver in the event they have a fall or medical emergency as the PWD can't be relied on to recognize the need for help or actually take steps to get help. See Gene Hackman death.

The Yellow Dot Program identifies cars that might have a PWD as passenger in the event of an accident or being pulled over.

Smart911, if available in her area, can alert first responders to the details of their situation in the event of an emergency where mom couldn't answer questions.

I would personally not rely on GPS tracker like an Air Tag without these other measures. They can get lost, might not update quickly or precisely enough to find him before a disaster occurs. I track my mom's iPhone (she doesn't have dementia, btw). In a large store like my suburban Wegman's it's not super reliable. Sometimes if she's near the front of the store it will read that as the parking lot. Sometimes when she's home it'll show her as being on the other side of the highway at the Autoparts warehouse. And sometimes it'll show a large circle (2-3 miles wide) and report her being somewhere inside it.

HB

Bugs84

Thanks for the recommendations, everyone! I sent them along to her and she said there were some good ideas.