Unusual Question

hiya

When moving to MC, should I take lots familiar photos in frames….or will this make DH realize people/dogs are not around and be a constant ‘where is everyone’ thought. Any advice of things to take/not take will be appreciated..

Carl46

My wife can't have anything breakable in MC, so picture frames with glass are out. Don't take anything of value, because it will disappear. A favorite lap robe or quilt would be nice.

Dio

Hard to say since every PWD is different. But it seems the consensus is to help make the resident feel more "at home" as possible, so the MCF advised bring familiar things such as favorite pillow, throw, picture. Of course, if patient has violent tendencies, nothing that can be construed as "weaponizable." Photos in frames are kept inside a locked show box outside of room. My DH asked for a photo of me to be placed by his nightstand, so we put it in a paper frame. Best of luck for a smooth transition!

GothicGremlin

What Dio and Carl said. I'll add though that we had a lot of photos in frames in my sister's room in memory care - none of them in glass. We had two fairly large family photos that we hung fairly high on the walls, even those didn't have glass, but no one was going to reach them either.

For the most part the photos were a big plus. She was all about family so getting to "see" us every day was huge for her. The only downside was when she would talk to the photo of me as if I were in the room. That was disconcerting, but that was for me to deal with, it didn't seem to cause her any harm.

SDianeL

He probably won’t put the pictures and their absence together depending on what stage he is in. We made 2 small picture books with the names of the people and their relationship noted at the bottom. You can send the pictures and have the booklets made. We took a blanket and small pillow he liked If he has a wallet remove everything because. It will probably go missing. Clothes and mementos may also go missing. Don’t take anything that you would be upset if it disappeared. Ask the facility if Posters for the wall are OK. The facility where my husband was allowed us to provide a comfortable chair. Vinyl so it could be cleaned. Recliners are not good because they forget how to make them work. My daughter bought my husband a stuffed dog that looked like their dog. He loved it.

JJ401

When my mother-in-law moved into memory care, her roommate was stage 5/6. Her family had made her a family poster. It had her name, stated her life long profession, things she liked to do, and had labeled pictures of her family. Her family visited, but never on the same schedule as us. The poster helped both us, and the varying staff, understand who the person in the bed/chair is.
I thought it a great idea and made one for mother-in-law.

tboard

When my mother went into memory care I made copies of family photos because nothing is safe in a memory care facility. I put them in a book and she did enjoy paging through it and looking at them. I have no idea if she knew the people in the photos but she did enjoy them.

harshedbuzz

We brought 2 pictures for dad's room (one an 8 x 10" copy of his favorite picture of mom and the other a 20 x 24" portrait of my sister and I).

Another resident used to take mom's picture, along with dad's slippers, a couple times a week. Dad was confused by the larger color portrait thinking there were strangers in the room looking at him. He recognized me in person but not in the picture taken when I was about 26. I don't look all that different.

HB

BPS

I put a couple of picture books in her room but she never looks at them and has no interest when I try to look at them with her. The framed pictures on the shelves she looks at and asks about. She used to make quilts so I took one of them for her bed and she liked that (the one I took is not one she made but she thinks she did). One thing I was told before was to hang a easy to read wall clock up. I did and even though she don't really have any concept of time she still frequently tells me what time it is, even though she is not always reading it right. I think having the clock helps make her feel like she knows what is going on.

Traveler18

I moved my DH (stage 6) in mid-March and I did bring photos. There are framed photos of him riding his motorcycles, some that he had purchased from a friend, canvas prints from our travels, a picture of us for his bedside, and we have a digital photo frame playing with tons of pictures of the family. We are working on a printed book with pictures of the family, names and birthdays for immediate family. He loves them all. He talks with the aides about the places we have been and the family/memories on the digital frame. It has helped to reinforce family faces and memories of what we have done. Our out-of-town family has been very happy that he recognizes them when they visit. Would not have happened without the photo reinforcement.

Everyone uses the photos to generate conversation, which is super helpful as options for entertainment are more limited now. We didn't have any restrictions on glass frames with the move-in. If there are restrictions, I love the prior recommendations to create a poster collage and paper books. The canvas prints would work as well.

I had the same debate about how much to take from home versus not. I had to "fiblet" him to get him into the place so I didn't want to furnish all of it from our home. I moved his favorite chair (a recliner, but no, he doesn't remember how to operate it), a familiar table and favorite lamp, paper books of the grandchildren, a few favorite DVDs and a couple of souvenirs. The souvenirs were gifts from his travels that he had given to his mom (now passed) so they meant a lot to him, but not really to the rest of us. If they break or disappear, no big deal.

Yes, less is more - everything tends to migrate from room to room, so make sure there is enough to trigger conversation and memories, but not so much that you are worried about tracking it down regularly. And, of course, label it all so that the aides can move it back more easily. They told us to leave any watch, phone at home. They said the residents tend to call people at 2 am and then lose their phone within about a month. No jewelry or anything you care about, if it were to disappear.

l7pla1w2

Yes, less is more - everything tends to migrate from room to room, so make sure there is enough to trigger conversation and memories, but not so much that you are worried about tracking it down regularly. And, of course, label it all so that the aides can move it back more easily. They told us to leave any watch, phone at home. They said the residents tend to call people at 2 am and then lose their phone within about a month. No jewelry or anything you care about, if it were to disappear.

Boy, is that true. I moved DW just over three weeks ago. She has collected other people's clothes, and some of her things are missing.

I put a bunch of framed pictures in her room, but apparently she collects them in anticipation of going home [sic]. The staff put them out again and she collects them again, so the staff decided not to bother, at least for awhile.

fuzzy socks

The best thing we made and keep on my husbands bed in memory care, is a photo blanket, I think our daughter made it on Shutterfly. Do one of these with all the things/people he loves!