Downsizing from Assisted Living to Memory Care

daughter in law

My FIL is currently in a one-bedroom apartment in assisted living. Unfortunately, his dementia has progressed to the point where it is time for him to transition to memory care in the same facility. (In addition to general decline, he has become combative and aggressive.) His memory care room will be much smaller than his current apartment and we know it is going to be very difficult. Any suggestions for making this move easier would be great. So thankful for this community - even though I'm sorry it has to exist.

Ms Meg

Hello-

We did something similar for my Dad, except he moved to an entirely new facility. He is 94 and always a very practical person, and very conscientious with finances. We told him he was going to save LOT of money. He said "OK" and honestly, he doesn't remember the other place anymore. Sometimes things that we believe will be difficult for them, is a bigger deal to us, then them. Good luck.

terei

Come up with a reason he has to move…mold in the old room that needs to be remediated, leak in the plumbing….whatever. My mother never even noticed she was in a smaller room. Whatever you do, dont bring his attention to any change….’sorry the room is smaller’ etc. I wont be surprised if he doesn’t mention it.

sandwichone123

My keyword is and was "simplify." It's not that you're depriving him of his stuff, it's that you are making life simpler, providing only what is really needed. You may be surprised at how much they don't notice, but perhaps there will be an item he misses, and you can bring it in the next week. My spouse would "gift" me the things I'd brought from home—he didn't recognize them and didn't really want them around, either.

ARIL

Within 9 months my PWD moved from his long-time house to a one-bedroom AL, to MC in a different facility, and then to another MC facility closer to me. The first move was the hardest by far. Each place has been smaller, although we are still using items of his own furniture, and favorite photos have gone along. The shrinking size does not seem apparent to him, and I think the small room now feels fine and manageable. Recently he told me that he thinks “this place has made a lot of improvements lately.” I agreed. That’s all to say, this may not be that bad. I wish you good luck!

psg712

My mom went from AL to a smaller room in MC. Never commented on the change at all. Doesn't seem to remember ever living in AL. I hope your LO 's move goes smoothly.