On the Upside

Traveler18

I just wanted to share a few positive wins in this land of the seemingly ever-down life. We are now 7 weeks post-MC move-in. Last weekend, in honor of Mother's Day, the care facility hosted a breakfast with mimosas and small fresh flowers for each Mom. It was a treat to share that with my DH since life with FTD is generally all about our loved one. Today, I took my DH and son out to DQ for my Mother's Day lunch. This was my first attempt at taking DH out of the facility in our vehicle to a public place. I chose somewhere familiar to him, close to the facility, and informal so that any incident would be no big deal. It went well!

My DH has EO FTD and has been very restless and pretty obstinate. I think much of it is boredom and loss of control, so getting out more and enjoying the nice weather here in MN has been a big win. I hope he will continue to settle in and be less difficult for the aides to assist. He has not asked about returning "home" after my first visit, which I consider another big win.

It was a hard choice to pull the trigger on the MC move, and so stressful to set up and execute the transition, but I appreciate the village that is now in place to provide 24/7 assistance.

M5M

that’s a great report, Traveler. Enjoy your positive days!

CindyBum

Hurrah!

trottingalong

That’s a win! Glad you had a good day.

Dio

Thanks for sharing! We need more wins! Hope you'll have many more good days.

I placed DH. He's now better than ever. Thriving even. But still wants to come home, which is unwise given his LBD and violent history. It's heartbreaking whenever I visit. Why can't I be happy that he's doing well? Placement isn't the end-all. Being safe is replaced by an onslaught of guilt. There's no end to this torment.

Carl46

Dio, why the guilt when he's thriving? Please forgive yourself. You have done the right thing for both of you.

When I visited my wife yesterday, she told me she wanted me to be happy. Soon after, she wheeled her chair to another table and started talking to her new friends at MC, and I decided my visit must be over. She is happier with that bunch of old ladies with dementia than she was with me.

I decided I am going to walk in the sunshine, literally and figuratively. My wife wants me to be happy, God wants me to be happy, and who am I to argue?

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/243004#Comment_243004

wose

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/243006#Comment_243006

OMG…. that was so so spot on! TY💜

wose

I’m so glad your outing went well! That must of helped immensely💜We love all successes big and small. Hoping you can continue with sunny days.