Very Regrettable Appt.

wose

Just to get it off my chest post….I know I know the calvary are not coming but darn darn darn… We went to the neurologist today after the 911 incident. I guess I was hoping for some back up but now I know there isn’t any. The Drs nurse wanted to know what I was doing to agitate him. I calmly explained, nothing…. And then went on and on about how the caregivers put undue stress on their loved ones. This all occurred after they left my poor DH in the waiting room wondering where I was. Needless to say, I told her if there isn’t anything else, are we done here? She said yes and I left (in tears) The Dr was pretty useless, not only did she not do much, she ordered a Driving Test for my DH after he told her he is still driving. (which he isn’t). That in itself brought up all our issues with driving. And she looked at me and said I got your note ( I said what note, cause DH gave me a dirty look) We left and I never got my note on official letterhead about DH to give to the police dept. This was our 3rd visit. Problem is tho DH is now mad at me again . I’ve learned and had more support from you guys…my virtual army….. than any other source……Hugs💕💙

ronda b

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73021/very-regrettable-appt

You need a need a new dr.. that nurse had no right saying anything to you.

Timmyd

I agree you need to look for a different doctor. If any doctor took my DW at her word, that would be a huge red flag. Our neurologist always went to me when he wanted the facts of the situation and never trusted anything said by the patient with dementia.

l7pla1w2

You gotta believe some neurologists are clueless. An anecdote.

My DW's neurologist appointment was coming up, so I composed a very long message to describe her current condition, something the neuro would not be able to see in a short appointment, and I sent it a few days before the appointment. Among other things, I explained that DW had essentially no memory, long or short. I said DW had not driven in a couple of years, voluntarily, so please don't ask about getting a driver evaluation.

You can probably guess what I'm about to say. The neuro asked DW how her memory was. I shot the neuro a really angry look. Meanwhile DW said her memory is pretty good. Then the neuro asked about getting a driving evaluation. I gave the neuro an even dirtier look, said, "We're done here", and marched DW out of the office.

I sent the neuro a really angry message through the practice's portal to explain why I was so angry. It was evident she had not read my original write-up, which I had spent a considerable amount of time composing, and the purpose was precisely to avoid the kind of bonehead questions she asked.

The neuro sent me a somewhat apologetic reply. She had gotten to my message and now understood why I was so angry. She didn't offer an explanation for why she had not read it ahead of our appointment. I concluded that further appointments are probably pointless, because DW's condition was too far advanced for the neuro to provide any useful help anyway.

Jgirl57

oh wose , how terrible! They should never recommend a driving test in my opinion . The test should be more for if someone can physically drive after an injury or accident , not when they have dementia . Will your (his) primary care doctor be any help to you ?

Bridge4

Clueless is the word. Either that or the doctors are sabotaging us on purpose. My DW refused to take Sertraline for agitation and just got increasingly hostile. I called and sent letters to the Neuro to seek an alternative and stressed to EVERYONE in the office to be discreet and not indicate my involvement. Well, they proceeded to call her directly and send ham-handed notes to her portal saying I had raised these issues and offering an alternative. So, instead of me getting quiet help for her agitation she just HIT THE CEILING! Now she has stopped taking other medications, hides her pills (which she can’t remember what to take and mixes old and new meds), has “fired” her doctor, wants to divorce me (for trying to help keep her stay at home longer), and for some reason wants to change the will to disinherit the kids. What a disaster, and the doctors are indeed clueless as to the harm they’ve done while leaving us to pick up the pieces.

Biggles

I am so sorry for you. I shake my head at the lack of knowledge the medical profession has about this disease. We had the same with my mother in law. The Dr’s told us we were trying to put her in care to get her money etc etc. if possible if you have enough energy I’d go home bring for a new Dr that will at least listen. Hugs

cdgbdr

I agree that you need a new doctor. What a waste of time. I have not taken DH back to the neurologist because I found him useless. I work with the geriatric NP and our primary care NP. That works for us.

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73021/very-regrettable-appt

That sounds horrible. I am sorry that you had this experience. It's hard enough to be a spouse watching the decline of your LO without someone in the medical field blaming you. Get a new doctor ASAP.

Maru

harshedbuzz

Wrong doctor/practice. A yelp review wouldn't be a bad idea if only to warn others.

Given what you've shared here, you would do better with a geri psych. If the wait to be seen is long, you may need to wait for him to have another episode and get him transported to a geri psych unit via the ED. In your shoes, I would use my phone to record this behavior to back up the history you will be called upon to give.

I am always stunned by how little some docs know about the realities of dementia. When we brought dad for the medical exam required for placement, placement being a decision not shared with dad, he brightly described hospitality-model AL to us with dad present as if we were blithering idiots unaware of that as an option. I sent the doc a note on the patient portal describing dad's murder-suicide ideation and the need to protect mom later. At an appointment with mom, he shared that dad always seemed fine during his in-office visits.

HB

ronda b

Some Dr's drive me crazy. It's as if they have never seen an alz pt. Or read about one.

Dio

Don't get me started on neuro drs. They make grandiose conclusions based on a 15 minute session without looking at the patient's history. If it weren't for the fact that DH relies on the neuro for medication prescriptions, I would stop seeing him.

blacksparky

My DW with EOA is firmly in stage five and partly in stage six. Every Dr appointment has a pre appointment questionnaire that they want filled out. I have been answering the questions for her the last several appointments. I just tell the Dr that I answered the questions based on what I see from her and her reactions. They don’t seem to have a problem with that.

Arrowhead

My wife had two neurologists as the first one left for another facility. Both were very competent. I also sent letters before each visit, and they were obviously read. I was listened to, and all my concerns were addressed. My wife was not on any medication, so after the last visit, he told me that I need not bring her back, as there was no more that he could do. Of course, of problems arose in the future, I could still make an appointment for her. I'm sorry for those who have not been so blessed.

DTSbuddy

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73021/very-regrettable-appt

Outrageous!

Sandi Roe

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73021/very-regrettable-appt

My LO will face the task of renewing his driver license in December 🤦‍♀️he was contacted by DMV(California) to take a driver test. He passed but I sold his car and only I drive now. Anytime he talks about driving he says he has a license. My GP does a great job helping me out when new situations come up. In December he has to take the written and driving, he will never pass the written so hopefully this end the driving situation! FYI when he went to take the last driver test I made him go alone. He got lost, there is no rhyme or reason to this survival mission we are all on. Stick to a good GP, Neurologist just aren’t interested unless they can put you in a useless trial. Our Neurologist told us here’s some flyers on treatments, they probably won’t help you but maybe someone down the line. I fired him!!!