Trouble getting mom to shower

Duffy13

My mom has dementia but it's still early onset. The two things I'm having problems with is getting her to change out of her PJs and getting her to shower. She said she doesn't get dirty bc all she does is sit in a chair. What can I do?

H1235

Welcome. Could you plan some kind of special outing once a week for her(maybe just take her to dinner) and use that as excuse for showering? People with dementia often have trouble taking showering suggestions from family. An aide may be helpful just for that. I really don’t know what is considered healthy, but if she is not doing much a shower once a week is probably enough in my opinion. Would she use wipes or a washcloth. How about a dry shampoo? You also might consider your approach. People with dementia do not like being told what to do. Would a less direct approach work? For example if you showed her a newer pair of pajamas would she believe you if you told her they were new and you wanted her to try them on to see if they fit. An outing may also help to get her into clean clothes. Is there anyone she will listen to? In the beginning my mom did whatever the doctor said. She didn’t always like it, but she complied. I on the other hand did not know what I was taking about. I hope you can find a solution.

SDianeL

read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husbands diagnosis. It lists the reasons people with dementia don’t shower. First they forget how long it’s been since they last showered. Next they forget how to shower. They may be afraid of falling. The water may also hurt their skin as some become hypersensitive. So I declared 2 days as “our shower days” on those days I got everything ready. We had a shower chair and shower wand he could hold. I even turned on the water to get them temp warm. Make sure the room is warm. I also got some body wash. Once I got everything ready, I announced to my husband that it was “our” shower day and his shower was ready. It worked most of the time. If he didn’t want to, I would say OK he could take it tomorrow. Then I would do and say the same thing the next day. You could also offer a treat after the shower. Ice cream worked for my DH.

lisn2cats

My mom started to forego showering until I realized she was afraid of falling (it happened before and my dad had left to run an errand). She also doesn't want strangers in the house or helping, which I kind of get. So her friend (who is is younger) comes and stays with her (in another room to give her privacy) while she takes a full-on shower. She also has a seat in the shower and lots of bars. while she is bathing

I bought her bathing wipes (like the kind hospitals use) for in-between freshening up. I also noticed that when we are planning a special outting, she is laser-focused on needing to bathe and will reach out to her friend on her own. Small, but satifyingly happy, steps.