50 years

Crushed

In a few days we will have our 50th wedding anniversary. I know for a certainty that she is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. She last recognized me in 2017 and has been bedridden since 2021. She is 73 lovely as ever, with a few streaks of grey in her hair. I have stunning wonderful memories rated from G to XXX. We have two wonderful girls and 5 grandchildren. She gets the very best of care.
Her favorite "marital moment" story
We had the kids 5& 6 in an RV in a campground in the San Juan Islands WA. We were the only people in the campground. I built a campfire and she got the kids asleep. She joined me on a blanket and things got very friendly. Two raccoons came and perched on the table watching us! I asked her if that bothered her and she said "I don't know them!"
That's my girl!
I will make key lime pie and play the old songs and remember all the good times
Best to all

JeriLynn66

a lovely tribute ❤️

Caro_Lynne

Glad she didn't let the voyeuristic raccoons spoil your moment 😄 Your DW is fortunate to have you xo

Russinator

You and I have been extremely blessed with the perfect lady. Mine isn't as far along with her dementia as yours but I know that day will come.

Lorita

Early happy anniversary. So glad you have those wonderful memories. She is lucky to have you and vice versa..

Kat63

Happy Anniversary, Crushed. Lovely post about your DW. I too have had the most wonderful marriage until this disease took over. My DH made me a better person and because of everything he gave me, I’m glad to be caring for him.

jfkoc

I remember back to the trip to Africa and the wonderful photos. Also the bathroom remodel. Your love has always shone through brightly.

Dio

Thanks for sharing another heartwarming memory. You're both lucky to have each other.

Biggles

I too know those memories, 54 fabulous exciting G to xxx for us. Gentle tears form in my eyes thinking about your life and reflecting on ours. The wonderful hurts so badly at this stage. Take care.

Biggles

RickM

Hello Crushed,

Melissa died in August last year so I don't hang out here much anymore. Logged in today because I am going to recommend the site to a friend, so I figured I would see what was new and maybe catch up with some friends.

So glad to read your post, especially the remembrance in the San Juan's. Melissa and I visited there many times over the years being fortunate enough to live close to them.

There was too much on the calendar right after her death (our son's marriage, honeymoon, moving to a house) plus I just wasn't emotionally ready to do a celebration of life/memorial right away. We finally had it last weekend, on our wedding anniversary, in the park we got married in, and would visit every May 18th the following 34 years. The 35th year was with friends and family. I'm worn out from the weekend with visiting/entertaining our family, not to mention the preparation.

It is about the memories isn't it? They're what keep us propped up these days. Plus, they provide me with gratitude for the woman I met, the life that we lived, our wonderful son and daughter in law, and the life that I have remaining.

But I miss her. ❤️ And it will never be the same.

Best wishes to you, your wife, and your family. Thanks for sharing your experiences and stories over the years.

On our last visit in 2022 (it was hard getting in and out of the kayak but she was still a strong paddler).

Timmyd

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/243758#Comment_243758

Following DW diagnosis in Jan 2022, the goal was quality of life. Do as much as you can for as long as you can. Today she has trouble finding the bathroom in our house, but here is our paddling photo from the summer 2022:

trottingalong

oh your story made me smile. Those very special memories do linger and I’m thankful for that. It brought back a memory I had forgotten about. Thank you!

trottingalong

Beautiful photo. Puts you right back in that space and time. I miss the husband I no longer have, but I’m extremely thankful he’s still here. Wishing you the best.

Jgirl57

Sweet memories and your homemade key lime pie. (((hugs))) Thanks for sharing

Bridge4

Happy Anniversary Crushed, yours were among some of the first posts I remember following when joining this site. Your descriptions about how brilliant and accomplished your DW was were very poignant. They serve as a good reminder that no matter how challenging our lives as caregivers have become, our LOs have lost so much more and are deserving of all the love and support we can muster. Thank you for sharing your story here.

Quilting brings calm

Crushed, I’m both happy and sad about your anniversary. It’s a real accomplishment these days to make a marriage last 50 years! But it’s so sad that only 1/2 the couple can be aware to celebrate it.
Thank you so much for your expertise that you’ve offered here throughout the years.

LindaLouise

Happy Anniversary, Crushed! My DH and I just reached #47 - he is now in memory care but I'm there with him daily. We were sailors and spent many happy hours in the San Juans - paddling our kayaks was one of our favorite activities. I'm so grateful for the wonderful life we had together- he was the best! and I'm forever grateful for all we had. Yes, I wish this disease never happened, but I'm also grateful that I had him as my guy and we had the life and love we had. I know so many we didn't have what I had, and realize that gratitude can help ease the pain. Not always, but it helps. Love seeing the paddling pictures -

midge333

Happy anniversary!

ladyzetta

Hello Dear Crushed.

It's so nice hearing from you. I have always loved your stories about you and your wife. Happy anniversary. Hugs Zetta

A. Marie

Crushed, I'm among those who don't log in often any more because I'm in Stage 8. My DH died almost 2 years ago. But you've said that your DW was the best thing that ever happened to you—and my DH was the best thing that ever happened to me. I only wish we'd both had many more years with our best things. Thank you for the anniversary update, and I salute you and all the rest of us still carrying our torches for our dear ones.

JDancer

Another smile from one of your posts. But my favorite one will always be your tale of the Def Comedy Jam date.