I Am Bringing Him Home

CampCarol

Update: I’m sitting here in his MC room waiting for the ambulance to come bring my DH home. He’s on day 26 of not eating, day 10 of refusing all of his meds (he has significant heart issues), and day 3 of less than 8 oz of fluids/day. He’s terrified about being left alone, even for just a few minutes, so I’ve been here since Friday with him. The hospice nurse told me that since he’s refusing fluids, he will most likely pass very soon. She said this could be his way of trying to control what he can in this journey. I’m not sure is that’s possible, but on Sunday I decided to bring him home. This place can be very noisy, and most of the evening/night staff frightens him. I’m bringing in round the clock care, and hospice staff is also coming daily. I know many of you advised me against this (as did my family), and want you to know that I take your advice very seriously; you have helped me more than you know. This was such a hard decision to make, and I know I’m taking a huge risk. But I feel it’s the right choice for both of us. He won’t be alone, and we can both be in more comforting surroundings. Hoping you can all support me in this…

Caro_Lynne

Carol, you did the right thing for you and your DH - that's all that really matters. It is a difficult thing to do and I, for one, understand your reasoning. My DH passed in our home in my arms. It was heart breaking to watch him shut down and something that will stay with me forever. I pray for your strength as you face this inevitable stage, and for peace for your DH. I'm so sorry for us all that have to make these challenging decisions. We are here for you xo

jfkoc

I would do exactly the same thing. Please keep us updated when you can…..

annie51

Sorry for the circumstances but it sounds like you've made a good decision for you both. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you face this latest challenge.

Kat63

So sorry for everything you are handling right now. Everyone and every circumstance is different and I know you are doing what you feel is right for you and your DH and that’s all anyone can do. I believe this move shows your strength and love for your DH. Sending support and prayers.

ladyzetta

Dear Carol .

You did the right thing, I wish I had done the same thing. I was with my DH, when he passed in MC. I wish I had done the same as you. Have peace, in your heart. Hugs Zetta ❤️

CindyBum

Big hug to you, Carol. You know in your heart you've made the right decision for you and your DH. I sure trust that you have.

xoxo

White Crane

Carol, I believe you are doing the right and loving thing for your dear husband. God bless you as you continue to the end of your journey. My heart goes out to you.

Brenda

BPS

It sounds like he may be passing soon and if you can comfort him in his last days or hours that is great. My dad wanted to be home when he passed. He didn't have dementia he had cancer but I made the arrangements and got him home with the help of hospice a couple of days before and I am glad I did. I can look back I know I fulfilled his final wish. God bless you.

RetiredTeacher

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73145/i-am-bringing-him-home

I completely understand and support your decision. We are not as far along in our journey as you and your DH but if I could choose for myself or my husband, I would want it to be peacefully at home with me by his side. I wish you strength to get through your final good bye and may God help you through this very tough time. 🫂 and 🙏

Biggles

Well done on making that very difficult decision. Only you know in your heart what is the right decision to make. It takes courage and a lot of hard work to change a decision that you have already thought through. When the time comes we all need to feel at peace with ourselves and the way we coped with this very sad disease. Hoping you and your DH will find peace in familiar surroundings, where you can watch, care and pray 🙏 in the privacy of your own home.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73145/i-am-bringing-him-home

I’m with you , make him as comfortable as you can why should he leave this earth alone at least home with loved one. Keep the faith

midge333

I am sorry. It sounds like you are well-supported in your home. I hope your DH dies quickly and painlessly.

Dio

Hugs…just many hugs…

Pat6177

Thank you for letting us know and please keep us updated. I am probably going to have my DH evaluated for hospice next week. As I think about not having to push him to walk to maintain his strength, not having to push him to eat and drink, I really am wondering if I could bring him home at the end. Right now is probably too soon but he’s been declining at a steady pace so it wouldn’t be that long before it’s manageable. He won’t recognize home but he hates the noise and it would be quiet here. And I wouldn’t be having to drive back and forth to the mcf while crying. And I agree, you know what’s best for the 2 of you. That decision varies for each of us. Good for you for following your gut. Take care.

SDianeL

you are doing the right thing. I wish I could have done that. Hugs. 💜🙏

Jgirl57

You have to do what your heart and head are telling you. It sounds like you have built in the support you will need at home. There is no right answer , all you can do is try what is in your heart- Go home in peace to you are your DH.

JeriLynn66

My late DH did not have dementia, he had cancer. He died in my arms at our home. Then my caregiving journey with his father with dementia began. And ended last year.

You follow your heart. Peace be with you and your DH in the journey.

cdgbdr

You are doing the right thing with a good plan. I wish comfort for both of you.

trottingalong

I’m wishing you the best. I know I would do the same in your circumstances. All our choices ultimately come down to our individual needs and desires. Sending you a big virtual hug.

Jazzma

I brought my DH home three months ago, though he is not as far along. No one but me thought it was a good idea, but in the end it's a decision that only you can make. May you find peace and comfort spending this time with him. My heart is with you.

Anna2022

I found this somewhere some time ago. It may help:

"When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?”

― Thich Nhat Hanh,