I’m going crazy out of my mind!

annie51

My DH is at the point where finding ways to fill up the day are getting excruciatingly difficult. He no longer is interested in puzzles, which used up a couple of hours a day. He no longer takes care of the yard which gave me a little time alone. We go for walks but two problems have come up with that activity - 1) it’s summer in Florida so it’s terribly hot and humid and 2) his sense of direction is gone and often insists on walking in the wrong direction. When we finally get home I try to redirect with lunch or snack, maybe some TV. Sometimes that’s successful, sometimes he gobbles down the food then says “where are we going now?”. I am looking into getting a companion caregiver but what will they be able to do with him? I know I need to look into day programs to maybe stem his boredom.
I’m a little less tolerant and more sensitive right now because my brother is dying (out of state) and I can’t go see him or be with my family and DH can’t comfort me like he used to.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Lilydaisy

I get it and sympathize with you. My DW likes to go out too, and asks nearly every day if we are going out for coffee. We often do because it seems there aren't many other things that interest her.

Quilting? gone. Reading? gone. Walking? gone. Crocheting? nearly gone or gone. Cooking? gone.

Still enjoys tv, walking dogs, listening to music. We do what we need to, don't we? Still, others have it worse.

SDianeL

It’s not that he’s no longer interested, it’s that he can no longer do those things. Until you get the caregiver or daycare sorted out, could you find busy work for him to do? I watched a video where the caregiver had the patient organize different sweeteners. Pink, blue, yellow. Another had them fold laundry over and over. My DH liked to organize the pantry canned goods. But I couldn’t leave any food in packages in there or he would eat it all. My husband would only watch old westerns on TV because he couldn’t understand any other programs. The caregiver the VA provided just talked to him and listened to him telling stories about his past. She helped him with the TV remote. The MC facility had a balloon and swim noodle for them to hit. Like baseball. Is there somewhere indoors you can walk? As the disease progresses there are fewer and fewer things they can do. We know how you feel.

tonyac2

My DH used to like puzzles, now he tries to eat them. :( He enjoys dot to dot, coloring, painting, looking through old photos, scribbling on a tablet. I bought an old rotary phone and gave him a bunch of numbers to call. He’ll spend time doing that too. He’s wheelchair bound, so he spends a lot of time trying to maneuver around our small house. He only has full use of one hand, so many activities are too difficult for him. I get it, it’s quite the challenge to keep them busy.

hiya

annie51 it is so hard keeping them busy!! My DH was fortunate to be in a church ran respite 3 days a week for 4 hours. I’m not sure I would have my sanity without these programs. From this, I asked the program director if any of the volunteers would like a part time job a few hours a week. It worked out great..,a person from the program started helping a few more hours a week and sometimes took my DH out for 2 hours after the program….i got 6 hours to myself.
As far as activities, my DH liked his workshop. I would give him screws and washers and bolts to sort out and put in containers, I had a jar of buttons and would ask him to sort them by color, I would give him a damp cloth and ask him to wipe furniture in screened porch.
hoping you find what works for you:)

Iris L.

Can he rake leaves? That's what the Secret Service provided for President Reagan.

Iris

Biggles

My DH is the same no interest and can’t do anything anymore but he always wants to know what’s happening and what are we doing today, along with what day is it and is the football on. We go out somewhere every day, walk (slow shuffle) along The Strand or around the marina (ex sailors) drive through MacDonalds and get a milk shake or ice cream, we take our little Schnoodle to the dog park once or twice a week, we don’t go shopping that’s too painful instead I am perfecting shopping on line and I enjoy it. My lifesaver is Sailability once a week, they lower my DH into a 16’ sailing dinghy along with a skipper and off they go, I then go sailing by myself it’s such a relief to be free for a short while. Care sitters haven’t worked out so far but I haven’t given up. It’s so very hard we are all dealing with this awful disease at different stages, it is better when you get into a place of acceptance and find things that give you both some pleasure. Keep venting here there is always some great advice and always a sympathetic ear, take care.

PS I discovered he likes to use the vacuum cleaner so around and around he goes.

tucson anne

We subscribe to youtube without ads and my husband has watched endless videos about world war 1 & 2, biographies of people he might be interested in and so much symphonic music. He has watched the Rogers and Hammerstein 80 anniversary celebration at least 5 times, and South Pacific almost as many times. The good thing about no memory is the ability to watch something repeatedly! He never watched westerns as a kid, so has no interest in those; ditto sit coms and other network t.v. PBS also has lots to stream. You never know what might click until you try it. He can't do puzzles, asked why I wanted him to sort towels, has difficulty vacuuming. Like you, it's too hot to walk in AZ now, so I may take him mall walking at some point, though he can't walk far due to bad knees.

cindie-san

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73188/i-m-going-crazy-out-of-my-mind

My DH has also lost so many skills. He moves slow, thinks slow and goes to his garage and moves 1 item on the tool wall tha he spends hours looking at. But he has certain chores that he’s done for years:

cindie-san

Hi My DH loved his workshop but does practically nothing. But he does dishes, takes out garbage and usually makes bed.

I do everything else.

Carl46

Annie, I found an adult day care for my wife and it helped us. It gave her someone other than me with whom to socialize, and gave me the freedom to shop for groceries, walk in the park, etc. Most of the clients of the adult day care were much younger, placed so their parents could go to work, but they had some Alzheimer's clients and it worked well.

annie51

Thank you for all your comments. I really believe that adult day care is the best option if I can get him to go.

annie51

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244748#Comment_244748

You’re right about never knowing what will click with TV - I’ve turned on golf and even figure skating at times (both are things he never would watch before) and he watched for quite a while.

l7pla1w2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244748#Comment_244748

It's great that your husband was content to watch videos. DW would not sit passively and watch videos, especially if I wasn't there. She also wouldn't have been able to turn on the TV, etc. She wanted to do stuff, she wanted to be helpful in some capacity. Unfortunately, there isn't much she can do.

SDianeL

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244798#Comment_244798

make up a fib. It’s a social club. Make it sound fun. They need him to help them. Don’t tell him it’s day care. Maybe others can give more tips.