Home Renovations with LO

brupt30

My DH was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment and is exhibiting signs of further decline (no short term memory, repeated questions, etc. etc.). We have been planning/dreaming of some substantial home renovations for many years and finally started getting estimates from contractors, including adding a first floor bathroom and enlarging the kitchen. I'm getting nervous about the proposed renovation now that we have at least an initial diagnosis of cognitive decline. I can argue that the first floor bathroom will really help us longer term, and my DH is pretty bored right now and might benefit from the process (he's very extroverted and possibly ADHD), but the thought of tearing down walls and creating more chaos is a little daunting.

I will most likely scale back the renovation to some shorter, smaller projects, but wondered if anyone else has experienced home renovations with their LO? How did they handle it?

JJ401

DH here can no longer make decisions. I just do what needs to be done (everything from replacing the furnace to regrouting tile). I do tell him what I think needs to be done, and so far he has not objected to anything. I interview and hire. DH tends to hide away from workers. He usually disappears to the room where the computer is and plays simple games. Last week I had someone working in the yard. His only comment was to ask if I had hired someone. When I said yes, he went to watch TV.

Timmyd

Our home was built in the 1950's so there is always a next project we are wanting to get done. When DW was in the MCI phase, having the workers in the house was well tolerated and I only had to act as occasional guardrails for her. Now that we are in early stage 6, I dread having any work done in the house as DW agitation is off the charts while the workers are here making noise.

I think everyone's experience will be different. However if you need the work done, and you think DH can handle it, I would do it now. The future is uncertain with how he may react. I am glad we got some work done a few years ago as it would be so much harder to do those same projects today.

Maybe start with a higher priority, self contained project and see how it goes. However if you think you can get through it, now is the time. My DW has grown increasingly sensitive to noise and related disruptions in the home. I am not sure if that is typical.

jfkoc

I did an extensive renevation on a home 8 hours from us. My husbands illness was never a problem. That said, I am a designer and wanted no real input.

What you are going to need, in addition to the downstairs ADA bathroom, is a place to sleep. Stairs will be a problem at some point.

Kat63

My DH seems to do the same as others have stated. When I have any type of contractor or landscaper at the house, my DH always stays in another room and just stays away from the people and conversations. It has been that way for at for a few years now, as four years ago I put our home up for sale, and moved us across country to be closer to our daughter and family and during the whole process, my DH stayed away from everyone we dealt with and really didn’t even ask questions on what was going on. My DH has never really acknowledged that he has Alzheimer’s but his actions, such as these, let me know on some level he knows.

Anna2022

We had to replace sewer pipes the same year DH was diagnosed with MCI. It was a nightmare. DH asked over and over whether we had to do the work, why did we have to do the work, what was that noise, who are those people, etc, etc, and then forgot about it all until the next day when the questions started up again. To say he was agitated is an understatement. But I agree that doing it now rather than later is a good idea. Things only get more chaotic.

l7pla1w2

If DH asks the same questions again and again, you might do what I did for DW: Create an FAQ on the topic. They are frequently asked questions, after all. Over time I wrote nearly 20 on various topics and kept them in a notebook. I suppose this might be taken as insulting by your LO, because it might be interpreted as your thinking the LO is stupid. It will, however, reduce your frustration level.

brupt30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/244729#Comment_244729

That's a great idea! I was going to ask folks how they keep their own sanity when it's always "ground hog day"!

suvi

We had a major landscaping project and then a bathroom remodel in the last 18 months. My Dh wanted to talk to all the workers. He can carry off a superficial social conversation, but otherwise doesn’t understand information or remember any messages that he was given. I’d have to intercept him. I remember being on the phone with the contractor while my Dh made a beeline to the garage to talk to the septic repairman, and I went running out to see the man driving away. My Dh couldn’t tell me what happened. That part was the most stressful to me because I felt like I was sort of usurping him, but I’m glad we did the projects. I agree that it’s a good time to consider including adaptations.

cindie-san

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73193/home-renovations-with-lo

My DH has MCI and he remodeled 3 houses! He is not able to do anything like that anymore. I recommend either getting extra help or scale back. It will be easier on you both.

HollyBerry

Same experience(s) here - intolerant to the noise and commotion, wants to hide out away from the people in the house and wants me there with her so I can listen to her complain. And, I'm pretty much able to do whatever I want/need if I pitch it right - "those retaining walls are an eyesore, we're about 10 years past their expected lifespan and they really need to be replaced." We also really need to paint the interior of the house and replace the hardwood floors in two bedrooms, but I'm not sure I have the fortitude to listen to her complain for the number of days it will take to complete those projects. The retaining walls are Need to Do, but the paint and floors are Nice to Do, so they will probably wait.

Goodlife2025

We live in an older farm house built in the 1920's and it has been a 25 year nonstop remodel/upgrade project from day one. DW now in stage 5 has always been in charge of these projects. In the last 6 months it has become nearly impossible to pursue those goals any longer. For all the reasons listed earlier; if you think you can get any of it done, do it sooner because for us there is no later.