Private vs Companion Room

Marchbanks

I’ve been touring MC facilities and many offer a choice between private and companion rooms with rates that reflect a higher cost for the private room. I’d always assumed I would just suck it up and pay for the private room because I figured my DH would not be comfortable with a roommate. On a recent tour, the guide made a comment that made me rethink this idea. She said as they progress they can get anxious about being alone and actually prefer a roommate for company.

I’m wondering what you all think of this. Which did you choose and how did you decide?

sandwichone123

My dh was in a private room in stages 5 and 6. Now in late stage 6 he has a roommate, and to be honest it's not clear to me that he's noticed. His previous roommate was dying and the family was in, but he didn't really notice, and when he got a new roommate he didn't seem to notice.

BPS

Mt wife is in a private room and for her I think it is best because she has delusions about others and I think it would be a problem. She is in a small facility and there are a few residents that she has had the delusions about (she can't remember much but she does remember she don't like those residents) so she spends most of her time alone in her room, mostly sleeping.

JJ401

There are double rooms, and there are double rooms.

My mother-in-law was in a memory care that had longer narrower rooms. Each resident had one side with a window (with shared bathroom). There was plenty of room for visitors. There was a curtain that could be pulled across the center for privacy. We mostly visited with her in one of the common spaces. There was a larger common space where residents gathered and some smaller rooms that families could utilize.

Sister-in-law is currently in a different memory care. Rooms are tiny and set up in the traditional side by side beds with one window per room. Room is so small that if she is in bed there is only space for one visitor. Sister-in-law has the bed away from the window. Her roommate keeps the curtain between the beds pulled. Consequently, sister-in-law’s side of the room feels cave like. The common space is big and nice. That is set up well with space for several families to each have their own area.

There are several places here that have the loner rooms. I know, when the time comes to look for an opening, they will be first on my list .

JJ401

Marchbanks

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/245158#Comment_245158

Thanks, this is good info on what to look for as far as size, windows and curtains.

Dio

It's personal preference and depending on the mood of your LO. My DH started out with a roommate who was quite docile, but for some reason he agitated DH to a point of violence. So the facility had no choice but to place DH in a private room. Now that DH is used to being "king of his room" he doesn't want a roommate. With that said, however, things may change again as the disease progresses, so he may have a roommate again in the future. Who knows when?!

Pat6177

My DH made it easy. Within the year after he was diagnosed, he told me that if I ever had to put him somewhere, he wanted a private room and private bathroom. At the mcf that he is currently at, he often prefers to hang out in the dining area. When he goes to his room during the day, he seems more comfortable with the door ajar. I think he prefers to see the people going by rather than just hearing unidentified noises. I go to visit every day and I can tell that some evenings/nights, he goes thru the drawers, moving stuff around. I don’t know if he would understand if he had a roommate, that some space and furniture did not belong to him.

Phoenix1966

My grandmother was in a double, but at that facility, the only thing they shared was a bathroom. It otherwise was two separate rooms with two separate entrances. Since my grandmother was had a toe in Stage 7 when she was admitted, she couldn’t do much without help and I don’t think she and her “roommate” ever crossed paths.

I did make this choice because of cost, but it really was like she had a single.

harshedbuzz

One of the nicer facilities I toured ahead of dad’s placement advocated for shared rooms as a best practice for a number of reasons. Firstly, for many silent and boomer generation adults, they’ve typically shared a room in childhood and marriage so it feels more normal for them. The other more important piece, she said, was that the intention is for the MCF to function as a home with one’s bedroom a place to sleep or rest rather than an entire living space. This also plays into not putting TV in the room. They want their residents out and engaged in activities or socializing as long as they can rather than holed up in the rooms.

I suspect it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it did make a lot of sense.
HB

ARIL

The first MC facility my LO was in had what they called a “shared suite”: separate small bedrooms (but with big windows in each) and a shared bathroom. The suitemate was pleasant enough but regularly soiled the shared bathroom. My LO is now at another facility with a private room. For us this is a big improvement. Family can visit at any time without worrying about disturbing a roommate, and the bathroom is always accessible to my LO. Yes, it is costing a lot more.

In both cases, we did not put a TV in the room. Not having one encourages being out of the room more. My LO doesn’t miss it.

l7pla1w2

I placed DW in a single room in MC about two months ago. Leading up to her placement, I envisioned putting in a TV and a Roku so she could stream programs. (Thinking like a techie.) Then I came to my senses and realized she would be unable to operate any of that. In fact, I put a clock radio in her room so she could listen to music. The radio now sits in her room, unplugged, with the cord wrapped around it. That's partly because she doesn't think to, or know how to, use it and partly because she's always collecting her things to be ready to "go home".

The MCF has activities for residents all day, which encourages socialization. DW is hardly ever in her room except to sleep. It's kept locked, and she doesn't have a key. She uses a shared bathroom near the activities room when the need arises.

Arrowhead

My wife has had a private room since October 2023. For over a year she would spend most of her day walking the halls, but when I was there, we would go to her room for privacy. Now she is bedridden in stage 7. I always leave her door open to make it easier for the caregivers to check up on her, and because some of the other residents will sometime enter and spend time with her. I leave her TV on all day. I don't know if it makes a difference, but I keep it on just in case it does.

Marchbanks

Thank you all for the comments, very helpful as always. My biggest takeaway is that I can place him in either type of room and then move him if it doesn’t work out for whatever reason. I’ll be sure to ask the facilities about how easy or difficult that would be as I continue to look at options.