Help

nikkinik00

My father and mother have recently moved in with me because my dad was recently diagnosed with stage IV bladder cancer. We are helping care for him and take him to all of his medical appointments and treatments. My mom has Alzheimer's and he was her sole caregiver. Since moving in she has packed her things daily and wants to leave and go home. She doesn't know why they are there and doesn't understand why she can't just take my dad to his treatments. She hasn't driven in about 5 years and wouldn't know her way out of the driveway. But that's besides the point. She is driving my dad crazy wanting to leave every minute. we have had people offer to take her back to her home (3 hours away) and stay with her for a couple weeks. Not sure if this would be beneficial to her or confuse her even more? But we don't know what to do and we are all so stressed already worrying about my dad.

SusanB-dil

HI and welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

You will not be able to reason with her, as the reasoner is broken. You are most likely correct in that bringing her to her house will not help anything. A lot of times 'home' is more a safe and comfort feeling and not so much an actual place.

You could tell her doc about the agitation. Perhaps get her something that will dial that back a bit. MIL went through something similar and was on an anti-depressant, which helped a lot, through her neurologist. Also, perhaps look into adult daycare a few days a week so you and your dad can get some respite. When needed, we tell her it is the senior center.

Sorry you and your family are dealing with so much! ((Hugs))

SDianeL

welcome. Sorry about your parents. Wanting to go home is caused by anxiety. Learn to fib to your mom. Tell her the house is being repaired or that there’s no electricity there. You will need to repeat this multiple times per day because you can’t reason with her and she doesn’t remember what you said. Fib, then redirect or distract with a treat. Talk to her doctor about medication to calm her.