Help! A man wants to date my mom

akc783

My mom lives in an independent living facility (for now). She is borderline between early and moderate Alzheimers. I spend weekends helping her.

It appears there’s a man at the facility who is interested in dating her. He came up to her with me there and put her hand on her shoulder and definitely was interested. My mom was oblivious to the his obvious flirtation. Then there was an email we found that he sent her regarding their dinner plans. As you can imagine my alarm bells are going off. She isn’t in a mental state to date (although I admit he might not know that).

Has anyone else experienced this? If so how did you handle it?

SDianeL

very common in AL. Even in MC facilities but in those facilities they are monitored more closely. I would speak to the gentleman and explain and also speak to the Director of the facility. It might be time to move your Mom to MC.

CaliforniaGirl-1

My LO is in MC and there are little "romances" and friendships . Of course they are very supervised. Because people are old or have dementia doesn't mean they aren't still adults who want to be special to someone and have someone special to them, particularly while they can. Certainly you want to keep an eye on your LO's safety and that should be top priority. It may be time for MC, if you feel she needs more supervision to be safe.

At my LO's MC there was a couple who obviously liked spending time together. Back when my LO's condition was less advanced they visited her in her room. MY LO was delighted to have friends visit. My LO told me they were sweethearts and they were her friends. The two sat together to watch TV and at dinner. The staff kept an eye on things. Unfortunately, everyone's condition continued to evolve and those days have gone for all concerned. But it gave them all a certain amount of happiness and feeling of still being adults at a time of life when there was't much of that much of that going around.

If you feel your LO is vulnerable and may be taken advantage of and needs more protection then that is a whole different thing.