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When to go to memory care

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I sense that I will need to consider this for my DW later this year. When that happens, will she have periods of remembering?

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  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 284
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    My wife has been in MC for a little over a year and sometimes she asks when she can go home, sometimes she thinks that is our home and we both live there. She thinks she is there for some therapy and has been there for a week or two and she doesn't think about it much. I try not to say I will see you tomorrow, I say I will see you later. She assumes that I will be back in a little while and she doesn't have in idea of time, so when I come back the next day or whenever she is glad to see me but don't remember how long it has been.

  • sandwichone123
    sandwichone123 Member Posts: 1,024
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    When my dh first moved to memory care I would take him out to lunch every week. One time he wanted to drive by the house and see it, but he was content to go back "home" to his memory care. About a year or more later, he started talking about wanting to go "home," but I don't know what house he was thinking about. I don't think it was the one we had shared, but his language was so deteriorated it was not something I could figure out. That only lasted several weeks, and then his symptoms moved on.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,853
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    no way to know for sure. If she says she wants to go home, make up a fib about why she needs to stay there. The doctor said, the house is being repaired, no electricity, etc. Many times anxiety causes them to want to go home but home is a feeling caused by their anxiety and not a place. I hope her transition to MC will be smooth and she settles in quickly.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 838
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    You'll know when it's time for your wife to transition to memory care. Each PWD is different and how they may or may not acclimate will be different. My DH's move-in was nothing short of a miracle, went as smoothly as can be. But trouble started later…and even that has come to past. Wishing you much luck when the time comes.

  • Pat Coughlin
    Pat Coughlin Member Posts: 20
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    thanks to all who posted. Very informative. I will be better prepared when the time comes.

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 906
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    Hi Pat, It all depends on the track the disease takes. My DH remembered for awhile but hasn't asked recently. When they ask about home, the experts say that home to an Alz patient means something different. Home means a safe, familiar and comforting place to them.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 149
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    My LO has been in MC for 13 months. “Home” means different things at different times: sometimes it means the MC room, sometimes it’s a family house he visits sometimes on outings (not where he ever lived), sometimes it refers to his life as a child with his parents. And sometimes I can’t quite tell it refers to any specific place. It typically means comfort, safety, and love—or just somewhere you can eat and sleep.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more