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Lonliness when caring for a spouse with ALZ/dementia

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  • difergtx
    difergtx Member Posts: 3
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Ditto! Dementia was never even on my radar and now I just tell myself to not worry about tomorrow and just enjoy today. Enjoy his voice, his touch, his kindness. There are no intellectual discussions for us either. I have gotten really good at journaling. All the things I would tell him, I now write down instead.

  • Joyful Heart
    Joyful Heart Member Posts: 17
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. Truly. 😓

  • ilovemusic
    ilovemusic Member Posts: 4
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    Besides Alzheimer’s, I discovered several years ago (around the time we retired) that my hubs also has Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD/Asperger’s) which helped explain our sometimes strange/frustrating marriage. Double whammy!
    I love him dearly and will never let him go this horrible path alone, but the lack of emotional reciprocity with Asperger’s is an especially lonely life and now this …

    To be honest, for my own health and emotional well being I would have separated from him when I realized he couldn’t change even with counseling, but then the Alzheimer’s reared its ugly head and here I still am.
    Thanks for listening

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 285
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    ilovemusic 

    My wife and I had serious relationship issues that had been going on for a long time and I was ready to leave too. Then she was diagnoses over 9 years ago and here I still am too. She has been in MC for 16 months but I still feel an obligation to care for her so my life has not moved on yet. With the before diagnoses and the post diagnoses I wonder if I will ever thrive again. I have become used to being alone and am comfortable but not thriving.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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