Drowning

Chelle31

Hi everyone I am a carer for my partners mum. My own mum has had to go into a home and I feel desperately guilty I've now left my work and am looking after someone else and I couldn't mum. I am in a different space now but I'm drowning in guilt.

harshedbuzz

@Chelle31

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but pleased you found this place.

I can't tell you how to feel, but I will say that it sounds like the circumstances were very different and really can't be compared.

I will also say that the care my dad got in his MCF was superior to that which my mom could deliver in their home. He was more receptive to assistance from his well-trained and rested team of professionals than mom. In this scenario, she became the caregiver always nagging him to eat, drink water, take medication, shower, etc. Once he went into MC, she was able to return to being the doting wife who was happy to see him.

HB

Maru

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73537/drowning

Ii am really sorry you are carrying all this guilt around. Your feelings aren't something you can just reason away. If guilt is wrecking your life, it may be time to find someone to talk to professionally. In the meantime…You took care of this mum who isn't your mum. Your get gold stars for that. You did something heroic.

BPS

I think feelings of guilt and second guessing your decisions and actions is part of the deal, and the fact that you are feeling them is evidence of your caring and trying to do the right thing. If they are overwhelming then it may be a good idea to find a good counselor to talk to. Each PWD needs are different so what is best for one may not be the same for another.

weareallunique

You've left your job/career from what you've written - the disease course can take years to decades - be sure you won't have given up precious earning years for your future . Do you have worker's comp coverage in case you injure your back lifting?

Caring for another is a lovely generous thing to do, watching out for one's self is prudent.