Sister is having trouble utilizing bathroom

Golfstop09

My sister recently went into MC, 1 month, and she is not using the bathroom but peeing in a trash can. She also does not bath properly so she smells. when the help assists with the shower my sister will only get wet and then get out. My local sister planned a meeting with the facility to see what we can do about my sister's use of the shared bathroom. The obvious answer is a private room but her location is already expensive, and I consider it a last resort. Looking for alternative ideas to deal with this situation.

JDancer

Meeting with the staff is the correct response. IMO. State your concerns firmly, but kindly. They are the proffessionals, see what they have to say. I'm not sure how a private room would change any of this behavior. Sorry you have to deal with this. Your sister is fortunate to have such a caring family

harshedbuzz

@Golfstop09

I am sorry you are dealing with this situation. This is not an uncommon behavior in late-stage dementia— especially the refusal to shower and change clothes. PWD living in their own homes have been known to relieve themselves in creative places as well. This likely isn't about the shared bath at all.

It's early days in terms of adjusting to MC and her individual caregivers. While a care meeting with the DON would be a great strategy, it could be staff are taking it slowly on the showers as it can be very upsetting for many women at first who may feel like this is some kind of sexual assault. When my own dad initially refused full showers in MCF, staff asked mom to participate with them to help dad get used to the idea. She resented this given the money she was paying, but the strategy worked well, and she only needed to assist twice.

Is the trash can in her room? If it is, it may help to remove it, although she might use a hamper or drawer instead. It could be she can't "see" the bathroom for what it is because of her reduced visual processing skills. This problem seems to be more common among men; I suspect anatomy plays a role in that difference. Often for them, a onesie type garment and incontinence underwear are used to prevent this behavior.

https://www.buckandbuck.com/collections/womens-adaptive-jumpsuits

HB

H1235

In this article it said something about seeing themselves in the mirror and thinking it was another person in the room. Because of this they were embarrassed and refused to shower. They covered the mirror and things went better. It’s never really that easy, but it might be worth a try.

understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf

I hope you can find a solution.