New to this disease

sdhardcastle

Hello everyone, I am not too sure what I'm seeking here, maybe a place to vent my frustrations, maybe advice or a friendly sentiment of I'm not alone in this journey. My father was diagnosed over three years ago with Dementia and Alzheimer's disease. His wife did an amazing job of hiding it from everyone until that was no longer possible. He has many behaviors, and so far I have identified at least four different personas to his personality, I say persona because that is all I know to call them at this point. He was in a skilled nursing center for a year, which was the direct result of wandering off and being lost for three days. He lives there for a year with my step mom and from what I was told by her, life was fantastic. They joined groups, held church, participated in activities…it was amazing for them. Then the stressed and frantic calls began from that facility. My Dad was not happy and was displaying aggressive behaviors and slowly becoming violent towards my step mom and staff. This facility relocated my Dad to a less than savory facility in Arlington Texas, for two days they called and wanted me to sit with him, which I could not due to I live in Arkansas. On day two, they had an ambulance take him to the hospital and instructed staff to not return him. The hospital called and informed me they were street releasing him after his mandatory 72 hour hold. So, fast forward a few weeks, my husband and I went and got my Dad. We brought him home and attempted to find a local facility to help care for him. The original facility in Texas added some horrendous notes, which the company Vice President told me were outrageous and the staff responsible were fired. They also let him out of the facility, knowing he wanders. This place refused to amend their notes and document that staff was a direct cause to his behavior, however they refuse to do this and also refuse to give me his complete file, which I am his POA across the board. He currently lives with my husband and myself. On his good days, when he is coherent and is aware, we have had some amazing conversations and I have learned so much about his mental and physical health. He is truly in pain from sciatica, a hernia that was supposed to have been repaired and a broken foot. It is appalling that these facilities lack the time or concern to truly listen to their patients. My father is in pain every day and reacts to it the only way he knows how to. Since I was able to actually hear him and understand him, life has become much more tolerable and his outbursts are fewer. When I see he is in pain, I will give him needed medication, apply pain cream, massage his legs…I do whatever I can to ease his pain and it seems to be working. I guess what my point is here, is that it is extremely important for us to communicate when we can with our loved ones and understand how they are feeling. It breaks my heart knowing my Dad has been suffering in silence and was sent to the ER Everytime he had an outburst and was agitated. There is so much to this disease that is unknown, but if we stop and pay attention, we can be more to our loved ones. I hope this helps someone, somewhere, that is as lost as I am with this struggle to keep my loved one comfortable through this.