Dreams to Dreads

blacksparky

This picture above says dream if you look close enough. It’s in our bedroom across from the bed. Many mornings my DW would lay there and ask me what I dream about our future together. We enjoyed going over each others dreams and plans for when we retire. Now take that word and replace the M with a D and that’s where I’m at now. I no longer dream but now dread my future life with my DW.

I Dread waking up every morning and going through another day of Caregiver (Alzheimer’s) hell.

I Dread seeing my DW battle with her disease.

I Dread the hours of my DW crying and asking for her mama.

I Dread having to keep the house on lock down to keep her from wandering. 

I Dread trying to figure out what she is saying as her vocabulary is slowing leaving her. 

I Dread having to go through our trash daily to make sure she hasn’t thrown anything of value or clothing away. 

I Dread trying to get her to eat healthy items rather than sweets all day. 

I Dread not knowing if and when she might have another seizure. 

I Dread dying before her and who would take care of her. 

Bottom line I am just Dreading life right now. 

I do still have a dream that one day sooner than later my DW will no longer be suffering from this dreadful disease and finally be in peace. 

Thanks for listening to my rant!!

Aarron

I hear you. I grieve for the husband of who he used to be and the life we planned. It’s been 7 years now and we’re only in our mid sixties. He’s now in mc but it doesn’t make it any easier. Unfortunately life isn’t the way we wanted it but I have to believe there will be a new life once again. Prayers for you and all of us with this horrific disease.

annie51

I used to love mornings but now I feel that dread many times when I wake up. Just trying to get through the day without too much drama is exhausting. I try to stay as upbeat as I can but, of course, it’s not always possible. So we keep on keeping on and look forward to the end of the day, and to the day we may have true peace again.

ronda b

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73632/dreams-to-dreads

You just stated what so many of us feel.

trottingalong

I understand

Dio

I feel your pain and share the dread. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make all this go away. I don't have words of comfort, just that I too feel the pain. You're not alone, although the road we walk is ours alone.

SDianeL

we know exactly how you feel. Hugs. 💜🙏