We can do this!

Chris20cm

I know some professional caregivers who say that if they had to do this without time off or vacation time, they would go insane. Yet we who do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week without help or respite,  can go on this way for years and years. While watching someone we love deteriorate physically and mentally day by day.

  How are we able to do this? For one thing, it's a labor of love. Despite the frustration and ambiguous grief, we keep going and learning better ways to care for our loved ones. I'm not asking for praise, but I am suggesting that we honor our own ability to keep doing what needs to be done. We need help though, and sometimes we ask for it. And it hurts when we get turned down, but we keep going. And we still find things to be grateful for; the little victories, the "good days", some pleasant surprises, some inspiring posts or compassionate communication from a friend. Or an awesome sunset to soothe our souls. In spite of everything, life is good.

Goodlife2025

@ Chris20cm Wishing you and yours a Good Day indeed; may you have sweet blessings sprinkled throughout.

cavenson

Chris, Thank you for your uplifting post. It reminds me of the adage, “Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day.” As caregivers, we have to constantly remind ourselves to look for those good things. Wishing you a good day!

Carl46

That's a great post, Chris. I would note, however, that we often do it at the expense of our health. My blood pressure was so high last year that I was experiencing kidney damage, and my blood pressure is normal with medication now that I am no longer wakened to care for someone several times per night.

As the psalm says, "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

wose

This reminded me of one of my fav J. Nettles songs… sometimes it helps:

But I don’t ask why me

I just say why not

Take all that I’ve been given

Turn it into livin for somebody else

Because I know that I am loved

And I’ll say that it’s enough

To try my best to learn to give love in return

To everyone we meet

Yea, I say life is sweet

CassLoftis

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73656/we-can-do-this

I agree. We do our very best out of love. I have always been a kind of Pollyanna, but it helps to spend the energy finding the good things in our lives.

Early in his diagnosis my DH and I got matching tattoos "We are so Lucky". It is a good reminder to look for all we have in the overwhelming swell of loss.