Selling the House DH doesn't understand

Eloise0304

I have power of attorney Can I sell the house without him and use my power of attorney to do so. Also how can I get him into a memory home if he won't go. His outbursts and violence are getting out of my control al

weareallunique

Eloise - first you need to be physically safe — you mentioned being injured by him already - if he is acting aggressive- get yourself safe in your house and use your cell to call for help. The responders can hopefully then take him to a hospital with a geripsych unit that can evaluate him and possibly start treatment to calm him ..

On the house —and his future care costs — after you are physically safe - your best option is to see an elder law attorney who can review your documents and advise if /how to plan for medicaid institutional coverage in your state , tax implications if the house is sold —you'll still need to live somewhere etc. Selling without exploring options could backfire - you have your future needs. The lawyer can also advise if the documents allow you to place him and if the medical file supports any actions. If not the attorney can advise on how to get a conservatorship/guardianship through the courts.

Finally, the Alz Assoc has a a helpline:

"Get Help and Support, Day or Night

The Alzheimer’s Association is here all day, every day for people facing Alzheimer’s and other dementia through our free 24/7 Helpline (800.272.3900). Talk to a dementia expert now and get confidential emotional support, local resources, crisis assistance and information in over 200 languages. It's ok if you don't know where to start. Just give us a call and we'll guide you from there."

Don't hesitate to reach out— you aren't alone .

Timmyd

In many circumstances, your home is a protected asset where as the money you generate from selling the home will not be. Irrespective of whether you can sell the home with PoA, make sure you are informed of the consequences of doing so.

cdgbdr

What I have learned is that not all POA documents are the same. You very well may be able to sell the house with it but I recommend having it reviewed by an elder care attorney.

Your primary concern right now is your safety. Call 911 after getting yourself in a safe place and have him transported to a place that can help him.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please look out for yourself. Do you have some family or friends to help you?

elainechem

I did sell our home and bought another one closer to hospitals and doctors. I used my POA to do it. Hubby didn't want to move, but it wasn't up to him anymore.

Your husband should be evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist. They can prescribe medications to help with the agitation and violence. The most important thing is for you to be safe. If he gets out of control again, lock yourself up or go to a neighbor's house (Always have your cell phone with you - even to go to the bathroom.). When you're in a safe place, call 911, explain that your husband has dementia and that he needs to be transported to a hospital with a geriatric psychiatric ER. My hospitals don't have that specialty, but any psychiatric ER will do. They can keep him as an inpatient while they get him adjusted on meds.

addy103

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73659/selling-the-house-dh-doesnt-understand

I was able to place my husband in MC with the POA. He became violent at home and in the neighborhood. The sheriff's dept. social worker referred me to a hospital that dealt with geriatric alzhemiers patients with aggression. I forwarded all the doctors records and his Nuerologist and psychiatrist's number. They met and I brought him in and he never returned. They determined it was not safe to be with him in the home. You can sell the home without him with the POA if the house is in your name. If you plan on using medicaid, there can be a 5 year look-back and then money from the sale of the house could effect your eligibility.