Moving Mom to Memory Care - Questions

SiberianIris

Moving day is set for Wednesday. Mom's memory care room is pretty similar to her bedroom in her AL apartment, and the furniture could be arranged in a similar configuration.

The "story" we are using to get her into MC is that she is going to stay in "PT rehab" for a few weeks. She adores her AL apartment with "all her pretty things" and would never move from it voluntarily.

I would welcome opinions on the following:

1. Would it be better to set up the room exactly the same, or should I eliminate some items for space and simplicity? Her MC room is slightly smaller than her current bedroom.
2. Currently the drawers in her bureau and nightstands are jammed full. Should I leave them as is, or should I remove some items to simplify? Obviously I would leave the items I've recently seen her use.
3. If anyone can think of any items that are essential to have (or not have) in a MC room, please let me know!

Thanks so much!

sandwichone123

I would definitely simplify. Keep the overall feel, but remove extraneous items, either things she wouldn't need in the setting (I removed my dh's computer when he couldn't use it and his coffee maker when he moved), out of season (I would provide seasonal clothing changes and small decor items and take away the old). Whenever you bring something "new" take something away that she's not using.

ARIL

If you can set up major things in the same configuration, I’d do that. Especially the orientation of the bed in relation to the bathroom.

In MC, less is more. She will need to be able to move around easily, and she needs things that she uses. But fewer things to confuse: fewer decorations, fewer pictures, etc. I’d reduce the clutter in the drawers. Can you bring things to your house? Maybe trade things off seasonally?

My dad has gone from AL to MC to another MC, and we have shed furniture and decorations along the way. One of his favorite objects is a digital picture frame (which turns off at night); it effectively replaced many framed pictures. He also likes a quilt and a small wooden table; they go with us everywhere…

I would also note that knick-knacks (and other portable things) can go walking in MC, since some residents can lose track of which room is theirs and what stuff is theirs. So if there are objects that you couldn’t bear to lose, take them home with you.

psg712

Agree with all of the above. When my mom made the move from AL to MC, her new room was much smaller so simplifying was mandatory. The staff also advised that anything really important to her should be labeled with her name. That includes clothing - I have often visited to find her wearing a blouse that I have never seen before!

Grievingdaughter

My sister and I focused on bringing a bunch of family photos and a few stuffed animals. It is important for her to be able to move around, so I wouldn't overload the drawers. I would also keep track of what belongings you bring. My mother ended up with missing clothes, sneakers, etc. She rearranged the closet and the drawers. I wish you all the best. I can relate to how hard the process is.

ARIL

Hope the move goes well today. Thinking of you!

SiberianIris

UPDATE:

The move is complete! I got her room set up while my brothers took her to lunch. Part of her morning was also spent at the beauty shop, so the movers could move her furniture. The MC staff were fantastic working with her and making the hand off smooth and drama free. Mom seemed pretty happy being there "for rebab and PT". She liked knowing they had a whirlpool. She has missed tub baths since she moved to this retirement community in 2018. The cherry on top was meeting the resident therapy dog. I'm going to hold off visiting for at least a few days but will be checking on her from behind the scenes.

Thank you to all of you on this discussion forum for all your help and sharing your experiences - I could not have done this without you!

ARIL

That’s great news all around, and the story of the therapy dog made me smile. Sleep well tonight!

SDianeL

great news! So glad she is getting settled in.

SiberianIris

UPDATE from OP:

I asked the MC how she was doing, and they said she had some sundowning and anxiety later after that afternoon after her arrival, but was being pleasant and cooperative. The next day she took part in her physical therapy and willingly joined in the afternoon musical activity. They introduced her to some other ladies who are very conversational like she is, and she seemed to enjoy that. They said she is out of sorts by the move (normal for anyone, even w/o dementia), but they expect her to settle in.

Prior to the move, I alerted her geriatrician that she had been more anxious lately due to a further decline in her short term memory, and that a move to MC was on the horizon. I asked if she could be prescribed something for anxiety on an as-needed basis, and he agreed. Please keep your fingers crossed that things continue to go well.