Clothing and hygiene matters.

Trgdm

My DW of 48 years no longer cares about how she dresses and more often than not believes she has showered, brushed her teeth and is ready for the day. If I mention that her blouse is inside out or pants are on backward she gets upset at me and says "no-one but you will notice". When I mention showering or teeth brushing she says she Has showered and brushed her teeth. I, like we used to do with children feel her towel and tooth brush. Both dry! Any suggestions on how best to be helpful.

BPS

I would turn the shower on and then get her up and tell her that it was time to shower instead of asking if she wanted a shower. Sometimes she thought I was being helpful and said thank you and sometimes she thought I was being pushy and would say no, but it worked sometimes.

Timmyd

For brushing teeth, what ended up working for DW is that we do it together at the same time every day. The next level problem is that even with an electric toothbrush, she is getting very poor coverage. She tends to stay in the same spot and not move the brush around like she should.

Showering is tough. It is something we don't talk about, it is just something we do. I supervise and provide her assistance as necessary. We end up getting through it, but it is not a pleasant experience for either of us.

harshedbuzz

@Trgdm

Teepa Snow is the Dementia Whisperer. This extended you tube video goes into this—

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk-sPq0-sQ4&t=29s

Chris20cm

Interesting. My DW once blew up at me because she had a spot on her blouse when we got home from somewhere. She was furious because I didn't tell her and I let her go out in public like that. Now though, she doesn't seem to mind when I suggest she change into something other than what she puts on. There is realtor predicting how they might react to anything.

SDianeL

read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my DH diagnosis. It explains why your PWD doesn’t want to shower. Once I learned that I selected 2 days each week as shower days. I would get everything ready. I got a seat for the shower and a hand held shower wand. Once I got everything ready I turned on the water. Make sure the bathroom isn’t cold and the water temp is lukewarm. I would turn on the water and then go tell my DH that it was Wednesday, our shower day and his shower was ready. Once he got in the shower I would take his dirty clothes to the laundry. I put clean clothes on the bed with clothing front down facing the bed. I put his shoes and clean socks by his chair. I stayed in the bathroom to help him shave and clean his dentures. It worked most of the time. If it didn’t I’d try again the next day. They don’t shower because they don't remember the last time they showered, they think they just showered, they don’t remember how to take a shower, they are afraid of falling or the room is too cold. Hope this helps.