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I am forgetting, too

I usually am very organized, but with the stress of a DH with dementia, I am forgetting appts, lose things, and run around and getting nothing done. I know it is because of the caretaking, and am the ONLY caretaker because family has turned away from us because they just don't want to deal with this private hell

Comments

  • CarolinaWren
    CarolinaWren Member Posts: 17
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    glad to see you here!

    I’ve been scattered as of late as well. Work has always been my respite, and right now work is overwhelming as well. Right now I’m telling myself it’s temporary

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 464
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    Horrible isn’t it. I make list after list, and have to turn out the pockets in trousers & shorts before washing I find them in my hand bag little scraps of paper, might only be one or two things you know milk and jam plus go to the bank, call one of the children, a 10th birthday gift for next Tuesday etc etc otherwise it’s gone, flown out of the head. Meeting new people there name has gone before the conversations finished. It’s got to be overload it’s exhausting!!

  • HangingIn
    HangingIn Member Posts: 29
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    I keep a small spiral-bound notepad on my kitchen counter, and every night before I go to bed, I list the stuff I have to get done the next day. Some of it is very mundane, like laundry. But honestly, if I don't write it down, I'll forget it. It's been really helpful to keep me on track. For big stuff that I only do once or twice a year, like auto maintenance, scheduling appointments, and changing the whole house water filter, I have a binder of Stuff We Need To Know. I put that together long before my DH was diagnosed, so fortunately all I had to do when I started needing to take responsibility for those tasks, I didn't have to do much to update it. That also is kept on my kitchen counter, so I can't miss it.

  • upstateAnn
    upstateAnn Member Posts: 171
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary
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    I think from the answers you know you are not alone. MY LO went into care two months ago. About four weeks ago, I found I could tackle tasks again. Fulltime caregiving eats up enormous amounts of energy. Do no5 be hard on yourself.

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 31
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    Member

    Raise hand here too… I keep asking myself when I need to see a neurologist for MCI even though I know it's the stress and fragmented sleep. You are not alone.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 723
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    I feel so much better now.

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 41
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    One thing at a time. Unless it’s an emergency, it can wait. Save your energy and rest as much as you can. And try to be more kind to yourself.

  • Denise1847
    Denise1847 Member Posts: 911
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    Member

    The forgetfulness is a part of the stress and depression we are experiencing. Please take care of yourself. Get some help for caretaking. This disease can kill the caregiver if you let it. Family and friends just can't deal with this hell. I am sorry. You are not alone.

  • l7pla1w2
    l7pla1w2 Member Posts: 329
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    The stress makes it difficult to focus on things. If you can't focus, you can't get organized. If you're not organized, you forget things and stuff doesn't get done. And when stuff doesn't get done, you get stressed. Rinse and repeat.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 565
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    Stress and sleep deprivation impairs cognitive function. We all are stressed and many of us sleep deprived. Please be kind to yourself.

  • pamnc123
    pamnc123 Member Posts: 5
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    I can relate - same here. It's my mom that I'm caring for and trying to work and take care of my home/farm. I made some mistakes at work recently because of it. Thank goodness I didn't get fired. It's a private hell - you said it right. And, family hasn't helped me AT ALL. It's horrible. absolute hell.

  • JC5
    JC5 Member Posts: 201
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    oh boy can I relate! We become overwhelmed with caretaking, what we need to do, what we need to know in addition to ALL the daily responsibilities! No wonder we can think at all!!

  • NMF
    NMF Member Posts: 7
    5 Care Reactions First Comment
    Member

    I read your posts often although I haven’t replied if at all. You have such profound insights and they are oddly so similar to how I am feeling or situations I am experiencing with my DH.
    If I am remembering most of your posts correctly.

    I apologize if I am wrong, but I remember one where you said your DH wasn’t the nicest person prior to the disease and is even worse now- I am in a similar situation.

    I find myself forgetting often as well and I am also very organized and regimented with routines.

    I too am the only caretaker as well.

    I find your true description and feelings to be so impactful and insightful- and I am so sorry you’re experiencing all of this-but you also let people know they aren’t alone in this experience. I think you’re an incredibly strong individual who most certainly has made a difference in my experience with this lonely isolating hell.
    This entire site has been impactful.

  • CassLoftis
    CassLoftis Member Posts: 22
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    I am in the same place as you. I still work full time as well as being my DH only caregiver and I get really discouraged when I make mistakes at work. BUT, when you are drawn so thin there is bound to be something that falls through the cracks. I just wonder if my cognition will return when I am no longer a fulltime caregiver.

  • Carl46
    Carl46 Member Posts: 1,140
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    Cass, your stress level will drop a lot. That has to help your memory and concentration. My blood pressure is normal (with medication) now that I no longer care for my wife, and it was so high that it was damaging my kidneys last year. I still use memory joggers and lists, but I am absent-minded and have done so all my life, so that doesn't mean much.

    I say don't worry about it. Pens and notepads were invented for a reason.

  • Grandot
    Grandot Member Posts: 18
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Oh I’m so relieved to hear that others are forgetful! I was getting worried that I also had dementia. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s a hard road some days!!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more