New to the group

Mamat5

Hi everyone. I’m new to this group and have been reading so many heartbreaking stories.

My husband is 71 and was diagnosed 2 years ago with FTD. We moved him to a memory care facility a month ago. He’s very restless at night and rearranges furniture in the commons area, removes artwork from walls, takes things from other residents. He wanders for hours until he finally falls asleep in the hallway or on a sofa.

I’m wondering if it’s common for the night shift aides to just watch these behaviors and not do anything to redirect him. Shouldn’t they be trying to get him back to his bed? There are 2 aides for 18 residents, but most nights my husband is the only person in the hallway and the aides are on their phones or watching tv.

Shouldn’t I expect more?
Thanks for any advice.

Kat63

Welcome to our group, and sorry you have to be a part of.

I can only speak from my experience and I’m sure others will chime in as well. To me it sounds like the staff is handling your husband the same way I do my DH. My DH is still home but often is up and down during the night even with medication to help. When he is up at night, I can talk with him and try to get him back in bed but sometimes it’s like he is not really awake or with it and no talking is going to redirect him. I just have to let him move around, move things and eventually he settles back down in bed. This might be anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours. If I insisted he lay back down or not move things, it would make the situation worse, as he becomes agitated and it’s upsetting to me. So I understand the staff letting him wander at night and as long as he is safe, it is what it is. I’m sure they don’t let him upset other residents and return the items he moves.

Mamat5

thank you Kat63. I was hoping to hear that. Caregivers are amazing and I’m sure they’re trained in how to handle wandering. I just want to make sure I’m advocating for his best care.

SDianeL

welcome. Yes, it’s common to let them wander. The caregiver would only interfere if there was any danger. Is he on any medication? Maybe ask the doctor for medication to help him sleep?