Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Caring for an 8 year old

Karl38
Karl38 Member Posts: 27
Fourth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes First Comment
Member

My wife is 84 and is in ALZ Stage 5 with a few Stage 6 symptoms. This past year has been a steep decline. It's amazing what she can no longer do. It's not just memory (which is a serious issue), but she can no longer understand simple instructions and can no longer do most anything without close supervision. She doesn't see what is happening to her and she has a good disposition which is very helpful for me. She seems like a happy 8 year old child. I know each ALZ story is different but I would be interested in hearing from anyone who has had an experience like mine. I'm extremely worried about how this story is going to play out.

Comments

  • Chris20cm
    Chris20cm Member Posts: 66
    25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments
    Member

    DW is in stage 6 after Alzheimer's diagnosis 8 years ago, and I have often been reminded that dementia used to be referred to a "second childhood." Close supervision needed, endless questions, especially "why" questions, unable to process simple instructions, childish pouting, leaving things laying around, losing things, blaming everything and everyone. Seems very much like a 4 year old. Won't pick up after herself or do basic hygiene things unless guided. But often cheerful and laughing too. Sometimes laughing at anything anyone says. As someone said earlier, "You can't reason with someone whose reasoner is broken."

  • BPS
    BPS Member Posts: 302
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    My wife was diagnosed over 9 years ago at 63 years old. She seemed ok except for memory and doing paper work. It was essay to slowly take over what she was having trouble with. She still drove but then had 2 small accidents so that ended that. It was easy for us because after that she didn't want to drive. We had her license suspended and got her a state ID. As time went on she could not no cook or clean I still worked and she told me every day that she did several loads of laundry.. She lost her ability to use the computer and phone and TV remote. I quit work to stay home and care for her then a year later she had a stoke and is in MC for the last 16 months. Other than losing her ability to do things and getting frustrated around people the only problem was she started having delusions about me having affairs which caused us both a lot of stress. I our case her Alzheimers has been pretty easy compared to a lot of people. Since moving to MC she has continued to decline. I think she is just starting stage 7.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,070
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    My mil was obliviously unaware of her decline. She lived in Al but thought it was independent living with lots of extras. She never questioned or argued. She always assumed she was the one that had drove to the store to pick up snacks ( we had brought them). She thought she was still driving but never had a car in the parking lot. She thought it was odd the someone would help with things she was capable of (showering and dressing) but never argued. My mom on the other had. Is angry! She does not want help or need it (in her opinion). She wants to go home. Demands to know what is happening with finances, but couldn’t understand if I told her. She once told me she was going to her house and I couldn’t stop her because I’m not the boss of her. It’s strange how differently people react.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,519
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 1,000 Insightfuls Reactions 1,000 Likes
    Member

    @Karl38

    Your observation that your wife is more like a child, is spot on. Dementia is about so much more than memory— it impacts so many skills we develop as children and teenagers. Some look at this in the context of regression and use age equivalencies when looking at progression and safety issues.

    The chart below includes comparative age ranges for each stage. FWIW, experts say that a person is considered to be in the latest stage for which they have symptoms/behaviors. Like you DW, my dad seemed to straddle 2 and even 3 stages at times which made it hard for my mom to think of him as being "that far along". But the stages bore out and once a few stage 7 symptoms started he passed fairly quickly despite being very verbal and ambulatory. It was hard for her as she was unprepared.

    Your description of your DW temperament sounds very like my dear auntie. Many PWD become "more of what they already are". She was gentle, good natured and sweet before dementia and remained so until the end. My dad, on the other hand, was a challenging person who became really hard to keep reasonably calm until his final weeks when he became nicer than he'd ever been.

    HB

  • Kalela69
    Kalela69 Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member

    my 73 yo lo is the same way. Evidently I need to add feed the dogs to the list of things he can’t do. All he needed to do was put down a bowl and shut the baby gate. We use the gates to prevent fights over food. Then sit down the bowl for my little girl and then put down a bowl in the hallway and close the gate. This is a trice a day every day routine that has been in effect for 9 years. How do you get the stage 5 or stage 6 diagnosis?

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 685
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Care Reactions 250 Likes
    Member

    I don’t believe most doctors give you a diagnosis of the stage your LO is in. Here’s a link to the Tam Cummings staging tool to help. Many of our LOs straddle stages.

    https://www.tamcummings.com/tools

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,045
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments
    Member

    Karl, your post reminded me of my mother-in-law. Like my DH, she also had Alzheimer's. Although we weren't her caregivers, whenever we saw her, she was cheerful and seemed content. Rather childish I guess. She never realized anything was wrong.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more