I am seriously flipped out

Eloise0304

I made the cardinal sin and physically took off my husband's shirt because his stomach was hanging out. Now he is calling me a b____and I suppose I am Now I asked him if he still loved me. Of course not. sometimes I just say I love you to him just to hear it back I still don't know how to navigate this private hell

BPS

I have never called the Alzheimer hot line, but I know it has been recommended. What kind of ideas and advise did they give you? My wife has always been pretty mellow except when she was having delusions and some of the people here gave me some recommended ideas that helped a lot when I tried them. When I visit my wife when I am leaving she says she loves me and I say it back to her and I guess I do but not like I did 22 years ago before we started having serious problems. The last almost 10 years of marriage is only because of Alzheimer's. Our 50 anniversary was yesterday and she didn't know or care and I wondered what things would be like if I had left when I should of, but I am this far into it and I do still care what happens to her so I am in it to the end and then I have no idea what my life might be.

l7pla1w2

Hotline: The first-level people can answer general questions about dementia and dementia care. You can also ask to speak to a care consultant, which may entail a call-back. The consultants are probably (I'm guessing) certified dementia practitioners with a social work or medical background. They can help to understand and deal with behavioral issues, for example. You can call the hotline just to ask them what kind of help they can provide.

wose

Hello Eloise… I’m truly sorry for your ongoing ordeal. Seems like every moment is chaotic, I know. My DH is awfully verbally abusive, like all day. I was, like you in a very very distressing private hell. Acceptance was key for me. I think I thought if I screamed and fought hard enough, I could somehow eradicate this situation. In my case , I’m ashamed to say it took years for my acceptance. I’m a never give up or wave the white flag kind of person. With this terrible journey tho, you must. You must ask for help. You must accept, somehow that this will be your journey from now on, if you accept the mission. I am nowhere near the end of my acceptance journey cause I fail everyday, but it has brought me some sort of peace. It’s like learning a new skill, try and fail over and over till it clicks. I’m with you, it’s very very difficult to love, take care of, watch out for and at the same time ignore the very person who berates you all day. You also must step into their reality, all the while knowing it’s not really reality…very hard…. Go easy on yourself, treat yourself, isolate to another room if possible and lastly, something I haven’t done yet, but soon …. ask for medicine for him. And of course, most importantly utilize all the resources above that these wise folks posted. There are no words of love or even respect from him anymore for me, but I know now that this wasn’t his choice and every now and then I see a flicker of the man he used be.