Grief! - Vent!

marier

I am having a very hard time coping with anticipatory grief ! I have been caring for my DH for about 14 years. He is now stage 7 on Hospice. I have help almost every day for his care.

I am trying so hard to keep myself in shape and fighting this depression. Today the grief and sadness seems overwhelming. The tears keep coming. The great memories of the past make be cry and I fear I won't stop. I am trying so hard to stay in the moment and as they say stay calm and carry on.

So I guess I will sit here and cry some more. I know I will eventually stop crying and carry on. Thanks for listening.

Carl46

So sorry, Marier. Crying helps, a little.

Chance Rider

I’m so sorry. I have nothing to offer except to lend an ear and offer a virtual hug. Crying can be cathartic. Don’t hold back.

CindyBum

Oh, marier. I'm so sorry. Big hug

Chris20cm

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73879/grief-vent

I am totally awed that you have given so much of your energy and your life for 14 years in order to make the best existence possible for your loved one. Your grief will ease over time and you will come to realize what a wonderful gift you have given. May the sun break through into your world soon.

jfkoc

Perhaps it is true that grief has a life of its' own.

I can share with you how hard this can be. I can also share that the profound grief will abate. It will not be all compassing but I do not think it is ever gone. We absorb it. We adjust to it. We accept it.

Please always know that we are here for you.

SDianeL

Grief is the price we pay for love. So sorry.

Metta

With you in spirit and grief. Sending love.

White Crane

I’m so sorry. Sending virtual hugs.

Biggles

Tears tears and more tears Marier they just fall always. My heart breaks every day every moment and I’m crying again. I don’t know how others cope but I just cry. I try to keep my thoughts in the moment but anticipatory grief is overwhelming. I understand.

WIGO23

14 years! Sometimes I don’t think I can last 14 more days.

Kat63

Sending ((hugs)). 14 years is a long time to be a caregiver. We understand the tears and anticipatory grief.

I’m at 10 years right now. The pictures from before this terrible disease are what make me cry. It reminds me of how things were and what I have already lost.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73879/grief-vent

Dear Marier, I am sending you a hug and prayers to calm your broken heart. If you aren't already, get a good therapist. They can really help you. You will be ok. What you are going through is normal. Grief is a process that cycles through the stages and it takes awhile, but you will be ok. It is ok not to have control right now. Crying helps cleanse your soul from the pain. What has worked for me is to try to not look back at the memories etc. I l had a stillbirth many years ago and was introduced to a technique "mind stopping". I use it now with my anticipatory grief. Every time a memory pops up and shut the door on it. There will be a time when we can reflect on those memories and maybe say "wow, we had a good life." Right now, try to take really good care of you. You have been through so much for so long, you deserve to have peace. It is what your loved one would want. Do it for him. Make him proud.

annie51

We feel your pain. I have a hard time holding back the tears - and for you to endure 14 years of this seems like it’s understandable that you’re feeling this way. There is some good advice here - I can’t add anything better, so I’ll just offer some empathy and a big hug.