Still Need more HELP husband in the hospital

Eloise0304

I have read the comments to my previous posts and just need reassurance that I did the right thing in letting the paramedics take him in for further evaluation. I am desperate

SDianeL

yes you did the right thing. You did it for him.

Jgirl57

yes, yes, yes. He will hopefully be seen by a Geri psych Dr.

David1941

You did the right (and only) thing. We are all applauding your good judgement!!!

Palmetto Peg

You absolutely did the right thing! Caring for him has been a struggle for you for quite a while now. He will be evaluated and medicated appropriately. I don't think our loved ones with dementia feel comfortable in their own skin when their behavior gets so bad. It's almost like little kids who are looking for discipline. He will be much calmer and comfortable once he is properly medicated. Good decision!

Eloise0304

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/251837#Comment_251837

Eloise0304

I still think I should take him home when discharged what do you think?

Carl46

You said in an earlier post that he pushes you and knocks you down. If you are injured, who will care for him? I suggest you place him before you both need NH care.

Eloise0304

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/251850#Comment_251850

But he is lucid much of the time and is not so far gone. He can take care of himself most of the time. All the comments have told me the same thing Should I take him home?

harshedbuzz

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/251848#Comment_251848

He's reluctant to accept care from you and is violent. That's a hard no from me. It is worlds easier to place from a hospital than your own home.

You may find he gets better care from a team of well rested and trained professionals which might allow you to just be a wife and attend to his emotional needs. That's what happened with my parents.

And if you do take him home and his behavior escalates, you may no longer be around to make the choice regarding which MCF is best for his needs.

Pa. Man, 84, Accused of Killing Wife in Argument Over Veterinary Bill

HB

Jazzma

Please stop and think about how things were before he went in. You will always have second thoughts about having him anywhere but home, but stop and remember WHY that is necessary. I fought against having my DH in memory care the whole time he was there (about a year), but after that when his meds were balanced and the disease had progressed a bit I was able to bring him back home. That's not typical, but it's possible. It seems very clear that he needs to be out of the home at this point. When you've had time to process your thoughts and feelings, to not live with 'fight or flight' every hour, you can reconsider.

The comment that finally convinced me to place my husband was 'You have to be the adult now.'

Please don't bring him back home. We've watched your struggles and most of us know firsthand how horrible it is. You need some time to recover and consider your options. Nothing is final.

Wishing you comfort and strength.

Carl46

My PCP placed her husband with FTD after he knocked out her front teeth and her sister told her "He is going to kill you."

If your husband kills or seriously injures you, intentionally or simply by being rough, he will probably be placed in a State hospital for the criminally insane, a prison with a few more doctors than most prisons have. Please don't let this happen to him and your family.

Eloise0304

They are trying to get the meds right so he can calm down. I think I am agitating him when

Eloise0304

Chammer

What @Jazzma said... we all listened and empathized w her as she struggled w the decision to place, daily grief, and finally the decision to bring her DH home once he had been stabilized and was on regular meds. Like so many others here, she has a world of lived experience that can greatly benefit you in this process.

ALZConnected Moderator

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73901/still-need-more-help-husband-in-the-hospital

Our standard guidance is that if a family feels it is unsafe for their loved one to return home, they should not feel pressured to do so.

Eloise0304: we encourage you to contact the Helpline again and request to speak with a Care Consultant. Care Consultants are specially trained to help families navigate complex situations like hospital discharge and can provide appropriate guidance and support.

ALZ Moderator Team

cdgbdr

Please, take all the love and strength you have and DO NOT bring him home. It will be incredibly hard for you, I know. You did the right thing out of love and desperation.

dayn2nite2

Refuse to take him back home. It is wildly unsafe. Tell them the truth about how he has been harming you and that they need to find him a place to live.

Taking him home will cause the previous conditions to continue. This is your chance. You may not get another one.