Caustic Behavior While Traveling in Our Car

yardman49

My DW and I used to travel extensively all over the US to visit parks and botanical gardens. With her increasing dementia episodes travel in our car is limited to no longer than 15 minutes. My DW tells me very caustically I drive too fast (as we travel at less than the speed limit) that there are cars always right on our rear bumper and people are always following us. She claims to develop an extreme headache stomachache and heart palpitations due to my careless dangerous driving. I am also enduring many negative expletives. Sometimes I have to pull over to calm her down. Once DW is back to normal about 15 minutes after we arrive home. She says she cannot remember anything about our ride home, that she is sorry for anything she has said bad about me and that she loves me very much.

Could there be a medication out there somewhere to remedy the behavior?

CindyBum

Oh boy. This one is so tough. My DW has always been a backseat driver and now with dementia, she's been almost unbearable in the passenger seat. I do a couple of things now.

She is already on an anti-anxiety med, but if we're going to drive a longer distance, I up her dosage and wait for it to kick in before we take off. I drive much slower now, particularly around curves, which always freak her out. And, I've had some luck putting her in the backseat for the drive. She can't see as much, I can turn up the radio a little and drown her out a bit.

That's not to say I enjoy driving with her anywhere anymore, but these things have taken the edge off of her anxiety.

annie51

I am in a similar situation with DH. A lot of criticism - too fast, too slow, move to the other lane, why are you waiting (at a red light). This along with a few minutes of cussing when I turn in a direction he doesn’t want to go. He’s fine as long as we’re driving straight. My DH is on a very low dose of risperidone twice a day and sertraline in the morning. I haven’t seen a huge difference- maybe a little.

@CindyBum what anti anxiety med is your DW taking if you don’t mind my asking?

yardman49

No medication as yet. We are waiting for an appt schedule with a neurologist.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/252202#Comment_252202

No medication as yet. We are waiting for an appt schedule with a neurologist. Wow, 2 other people with my same experience while driving!

harshedbuzz

@yardman49

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for the reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Being a passenger in a car can be challenging for a PWD. Spatial reasoning can be impaired early in the disease which could result in her perception that other cars are much closer than they really are. Another issue is that processing speed is slowed, so there is a delay in interpreting what is going on around them. There could also be resentment in play if she is upset to have lost driving privileges; dad insulted mom's driving in a DELETED for tat manner because she was the one who had to enforce him not driving.

Some ideas. She might be less anxious in the rear seat. Just be sure to activate the childproof locks and seat her on the passenger side so she can't easily come over the seat after you.

Distraction often works. In a car, listening to or even singing along to tunes from her youth might help her feel more settled.

Dad was much better in the car for me than mom. Maybe getting a 3rd party (friend, family, ride share service) to drive and riding in the back where you can focus on her would make this easier for her.

It might make sense to limit her outings if she's not enjoying them. You could have someone (friend, family or aide) stay with her while you get out to run errands and clear your head.

Medication might be helpful. Dad was already on an SSRI when he was diagnosed, we added an atypical antipsychotic and an SNRI to deal with agitation. I strongly suggest a geriatric psychiatrist for meds management; they're more highly trained and experienced around psychoactive meds in the elderly and those with dementia.

HB

Chris20cm

Foe DW, Zoloft alone didn't do it but when Seroquel was added it helped the paranoia and hostility significantly. Keep in mind that while it tones down the negative emotions, it also tones down the positive ones. The Dr never warned me about that.

SDianeL

Many people with dementia have this behavior. It's caused by anxiety and their inability to reason. It's called chattering. My husband chattered constantly and complained about my driving, the potholes, the traffic, everything. He was on Risperidone that didn't help. I eventually had to stop taking him anywhere. Also a warning. Many PWD's try to open the door and get out of a moving car. Use the child locks and have her sit in the back seat on the opposite side of where you are. Many PWD's have been known to attack the person driving which can be very dangerous. Definitely ask for a referral to a Geriatric Psychiatrist to manage her medications.

CindyBum

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/252202#Comment_252202

She’s on Gabapentin