Where to Start???

MSC105

I have hundreds of questions…

Where do I start?

My mom lives with me and has dementia. She needs assisted living and help with finances.

Where do I start? 
She owns a home in South Carolina that I don’t want to sell, but may be my only option. Is there a way to protect the house? I believe she would qualify for Medicaid. Should I put the house in my name?

towhee

Welcome to the discussion boards. You have already made a good start by coming here. Do not put the house in your name. In fact, do not do anything financial before obtaining information about Medicaid in the state where your mom will be placed. You might make her ineligible for Medicaid for longer than you can cope with. On this site, look for an area called Groups, and in that click on a group called New Caregiver Help. There should be a link to a Medicaid info site as well as other useful info. Once you have gathered general info, make an appointment with an eldercare lawyer for questions and more specific info. Use nelf.org to find a lawyer or try naela.com if nelf.org does not have a lawyer close enough. Lawyers are pricey, so you do want to gather enough information to ask good questions and make the best use of your time. Since you sound like you need to place soon do not let lawyer talk you into an irrevocable trust because there are very few states that have less than a five year look back. It can be complicated and there is a lot to learn but you can do it. For resources in your area you can also contact your Area Agency on Aging.

towhee

Sorry, naela.org not .com

Victoriaredux

https://www.nelf.org/attorney-directory-search

that link should be clickable .

There are other elder law specialists than those listed -look for them versus an atty who doesn't specialize in elder law. Lawyers aren't inexpensive but you'll need documents to manage her assets and care - if you make a mistake there are usually no do-overs — which makes the legal fee a deal in retrospect.

[Changing the title to her house - yes, def. don't do that - her assets are for her while she is alive . Retitling to you could be considered elder abuse - and if her will leaves the house, or part of it , to others ….that's a mess].

The lawyer can explain medicaid , wills, trusts etc . Don't wait , if she isn't considered able to understand enough to sign new documents now then you'd be facing going to court for guardianship.

If she needs help with finances you may be looking at memory care sooner than you figured - assisted living is just that - help -not oversight & security .

H1235

I have attached information for Medicaid by state. I would definitely not put the house in your name that would be considered a gift and that is a big no no for Medicaid. See a lawyer. You will need a DPOA if you don’t have one and also medical poa and a living will would be good. The lawyer recommended we do a prepaid funeral. This is complicated stuff. I would recommend getting yourself up to speed before going to the lawyer so you know what questions you want to ask. Mc and Al are expensive. You may need to sell the house to cover the cost. In my state a nursing home is really the only thing that is completely covered by Medicaid. But each state is different. You should also keep in mind that a facility can have a waiting list. In my experience the lawyer sets the bar pretty low for competency, but I still would not put it off.

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/state-specific-medicaid-eligibility/

JulietteBee

I can so relate to your plight.

Like you, I did not want to sell my parents' home. My DM wanted to sell it and get on with life.

The house is an asset! I moved mom into an IL facility and then rented out her house.

The rental being collected on her house is enough to pay the rent for her IL apartment, plus a little extra.

Selling her house will liquidate her assets and you will see that the funds are quickly depleted.

Again, do NOT put her house in your name. It will be considered a gift. A gift that will then require that you pay a very costly "inheritance tax" or "estate tax."

Please consult a lawyer before proceeding. There are many land mines you need to stay clear of.🫂

MSC105

Thanks everyone! I feel so lost…my dad passed away last year and everything was in his name. I have POA. We had to have a Deed of Distribution so we’ve been working with a lawyer. I never get to talk to her, just the secretary.

I also have an appointment with a lawyer here in Ohio, but not until Sept. 25.

I need to move my mom asap into AL. The lawyer mentioned a “crisis plan.” Does anyone know more about this? She has no cash, but owns a house in SC. It needs many repairs so I’m not sure renting is an option. If I move myself into the house does that protect it from Medicaid?
Or can I own a house in Ohio and “move” my belongings there and go back and forth? My address could be the SC one because I hardly get any mail anyways and I do the informed delivery.

Should I proceed with the Medicaid application or not until is speak with lawyer?
She is competent to sign now and when I said she needs help financially I meant she has no extra money. She gets social security too.

Thanks for helping me understand some of this.

H1235

When you move her to al, will that be in Ohio or South Carolina? Where will you be? In my opinion you should be close to her. Which state is going to offer her the best Medicaid options? Will the state you’re looking at even cover Al. In some states Medicaid may not cover it at all, in other states only partially (family is expected to cover the balance and selling the house to cover the balance would disqualify her from Medicaid altogether) and in others it may cover al (but the allowance for personal expenses may not be enough to cover all that she needs). If Al is not an option with Medicaid you may need to consider a nursing home. Then Medicaid will also look at if she meets the physical need requirements. With money being an issue I think this is all very important. I can understand wanting to keep the house, but maintaining it while living out of state is going to be tough, especially if it is in need of repairs. Keep in mind that you will need to cover the cost of home maintenance and utilities. I live a hour away from moms house and it a lot of work. Will you be trying to get the house back in shape? It might be easier if you are living in it and you might be able to do that while mom is on Medicaid, but I’m not sure. That’s definitely a question for a lawyer. Your question should you file for Medicaid or see a lawyer. I think you need to see a lawyer. If you are flexible on which state you both end up in I would see a lawyer in both states. Regardless you need to know what kind of Medicaid you are applying for. The requirements are different depending on if she goes to Al or a nursing home. So overwhelming and so much work.

TheCatWantsOut

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I was in a very similar one two years ago. My mother had to be moved into Assisted Living, but she had insufficient income and modest assets besides her home. I live in a different state.

Though others are correct when they said Medicaid varies by state, I found the following to be broadly true: Neither Medicaid nor Medicare pays for assisted living or memory care. There are some rare exceptions but I never identified a relevant one. Most likely your mother will pay for those out of pocket. If she qualifies medically she can be placed in a nursing home which Medicaid will pay for (and she can keep her house). But a nursing home is a pretty sad situation compared to assisted living.

In my case I sold my mother's house, invested the money as well as I could, and I am paying for a comfortable assisted living place out of that. There's no way I could have rented her house for what assisted living costs. After the expenses associated with renting, including hiring a property manager as I live several states away, I might have cleared $1,000 per month in rental income. That is not even close to the gap between her income and assisted living, which around here runs about $8,000 per month.

When she runs out of money, she will move to a nursing home that takes Medicaid. Basically that is our nation's safety net for the destitute elderly. Sad, but I know no other practical solution if family care is not an option.