Morning thoughts

mwoolley

This morning…The Puzzle
I emptied the new puzzle package onto the table I use for my newest obsession, assembling puzzles. I usually work on 1,000-piece puzzles but this one seemed to have 10,000 pieces. It seemed impossible at first, but I resisted the notion of discarding it. I figured there must be a solution. I was determined to solve this and turn the huge pile of uniquely shaped, multi-colored pieces into an image. Corners and borders are the first step to all puzzles. Well, that took about two weeks to finish what usually is considered the easy part of puzzling.
From there, I went to sorting pieces by color or by interesting characteristics so I could work on subassemblies which would eventually fit into the larger picture. Mind you, there was no picture on the box nor a print of the finished puzzle to “cheat” with. My puzzle-expert grandkids and my children call those pictures cheating. I call it “helpful”. The sorting was a huge challenge because every image, or portion of an image was brand new to me. I had never seen these images before. Every new connection was a learning experience for me.
There were times when I would walk away from the puzzle just to get a different focus on the big picture. There were times when I would think maybe I should just give up. But something drove me on to finish this challenge. In a way, I felt I was compelled to finish this thing even though I did not choose it.
I confess that I sought guidance from all who would listen and possibly help understand how to put the puzzle together. To make a very long story short, I spent nearly two years to complete the puzzle challenge and found the completed image was a picture of my wife of nearly a half century. I was thankful to have the image completed and to have the clarity of understanding her.
But in a short while, I noticed that occasionally there were pieces missing from her image. It was as if something was de-puzzling her image. The missing pieces phenomenon continues to this day. Pieces of her keep disappearing on a regular basis and my fear is one day there will no longer be a recognizable image of her.
Okay, I confess that this bit of prose is an allegorical account of experiencing dementia with a loved one. The assemblage of the puzzle is my journey to understanding dementia in a loved one. The disassemblage of the puzzle represents my wife as her disease takes her apart. I fear the day when she is no longer here. Being here physically, but not here mentally are two very different things.

Maru

DH and I have a table on which there is always a jigsaw puzzle in progress…a suggestion from the Neurologist to keep active a different part of the brain DH usually uses. I get your allegory. DH seems to be in rapid AL decline…probably exacerbated by his vasular disease in the brain, His "not quite right" episodes and increasing in amount and length. Pieces of him are slowly falling off.

This is a sad thing for all of us who find ourselves at this site.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74033/morning-thoughts

I so enjoyed your story of the puzzle. Like a well written short story, the end took me by surprise. The build up and then the missing puzzle pieces all came together to describe so perfectly what we all see and feel. Just last night I was looking at photos of my vibrant, handsome husband. The man he used to be, the man disappearing before my eyes. I see glimpses of him now and then, but they are becoming less frequent. Now I have the disappearing puzzle pieces analogy to help me explain to others who aren’t on this sad journey what it’s like. Thank you.

annie51

Ironically, my DH and I started doing jigsaw puzzles during the pandemic. It was an enjoyable activity to do together and continued for years. He even wanted me to take a picture of each one to save. Started with 1500/1000 piece, then as he progressed we went down to 500, 300, 100. The last 2 months he didn’t want to do them anymore. 😞 So one of the missing jigsaw puzzle pieces has a literal meaning for me.

Thank you for the story.

BikingOldMan

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/252935#Comment_252935

TrottingAlong - You took the words right out of my mouth! With my DW from time to time a piece seems to be found, only to be be exchanged for another piece, and a new missing. Never a dull moment.

SDianeL

well said. So true. So sad. 💜

Goodlife2025

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/252939#Comment_252939

Annie your comment is my story as well. I still have the last puzzle unopened given to us for Christmas but after years of sharing this quiet and relaxing activity, especially in the winters, my DW is no longer willing, able, or interested. So many missing puzzle pieces at this point.