Update

White Crane

I want to give an update on what's been happening with DH. In my last two thread I shared that the facility said the state told them he had to move because of an incident where he wandered and got into bed with a female resident and touched her in an inappropriate place. The Division of Health and Senior Services (DHHS) said they could not order the facility tor remove him. The MC started having an aide with him at all times…even when he was in his room to satisfy the state's recommendations. This caused DH to become agitated and the doctor started increasing his medication. Long story short: The last two times I visited him last week he was like a zombie and I could not wake him up. The aides told me his legs had given out and they were having to put him in a wheelchair to take him to meals. Up until now, he has been walking fine even without his walker. Then, last Thursday, the MC called and said they were sending him to a geripsych unit about 50 miles away. He has been there since last Thursday evening. DHSS has issued a Statement of Deficiency (SOD) to the MC facility and will be issuing then a fine. Also, they are not allowed to admit any new residents until DHHS is satisfied that they have a plan in place to prevent this from happening again. The MC has until September 17th to send their plan to DHSS for approval. I don't know what the plan will contain. Such a mess! And DH is struggling because of it. One of my sons is driving 500 mles tomorrow so he can go with me to see his dad and also to tour another MC facility in case DH has to move or we decide to move him. The new MC is about a half hour away. All of this has taken its toll on me physically. Migraines are happening frequently and my stomach is rebelling. Crying doesn't really help but I have been doing a lot of it lately. All we can do now is pray the geripsych doctors can get his medication straightened out so he can function better and hopefully be able to walk on his own again. Thanks for listening.

Brenda

jfkoc

None of this should have happened but thanks to you someone else will benefit from all you have done!

Please keep us updated.

djtcoll

I am so sorry for your DH and you and your entire family. I am thinking of you all.

wose

Thanks for the update. You and hubby have been in my thoughts. I’m so sorry that you have to endure all this added stress, as if you didn’t have enough. Virtual hugs and support is all I have, DH is lucky you’re in his corner 💜

trottingalong

I like what @jfkoc just said. It’s true. I hope your son arriving helps you some as well as getting your husbands meds straightened out.

BPS

I can't say anything that helps but I am praying for you and your experience has taught me some things. The MC where my wife is has a guy that get aggressive and also thinks that one of the other residents is his wife. Long story but he ended up hitting my wife once and the MC dealt with it internally as well as possible. I don't know that it was even reported to the state, but they did what they could and I am satisfied with their response and we have all move on. PWD don't think the same as the used to. The guys daughter knows and was very apologetic and the staff are all aware and keep an eye on him. They are also in a tough situation. It all sucks

Dunno

Yes, thank you for all that you’ve done. I wish I had known about the resources available to help protect patients—such as Georgia’s Healthcare Facility Regulation Division (HFRD) or the Long-Term Care Ombudsman.

My wife was accused of pushing a male resident to the ground, resulting in him breaking a hip. This happened in a long hallway with no witnesses and no video recording. I don’t believe my wife pushed him—unless she felt threatened or afraid. He was apparently close enough to her.

This happened before Christmas, and like you, I feared she would be booted from the facility. They sent her to a geriatric doctor and said she couldn’t return unless released from the hospital.

I hope the best for you and your son. I physically started falling apart from the stress. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Phoenix1966

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Stay strong, which is always easier said than done.

annie51

So sorry for what you’re going through. Thoughts and prayers for you and hope this will get straightened out soon. He’s lucky to have you in his corner.

harshedbuzz

@White Crane

Strong work on your advocacy for your DH, and by extension, every other PWD in the facility.

I am so sorry for the way your DH has been demonized and treated and for the toll it is taking on you physically and emotionally.

Given the consequences of their poor care in terms of loss of revenue and a fine as well as the damage to their reputation in terms of the SOD which will appear in published state files, I don't feel it is safe for you to consider returning him there. Human nature being what it is, he's too vulnerable and you can't be there 24/7.

I hope things improve for you both soon.
HB

CampCarol

TY for the update @White Crane , I've been wondering what's happening. I agree with @harshedbuzz in that I wouldn't return him their either. I went to the state re: my DH's MC facility, and they were written up and fined as well. I would never have put him back there.

It's sad that we all need to advocate so hard for people to do the right thing, you're doing a wonderful job being there for your DH. Stay strong, we're here for you!

Bluebird

Thank you for the update. Please keep letting us know how things are going with your husband. You are helping us learn what to do if our PWD causes problems at a care home.

CindyBum

I am so sorry for all that you and he have gone through. Sending you hugs and strength.

White Crane

Dear Forum Friends, first of all thank you all for your input and support. Having our son here this week has been a Godsend. We toured a MC 35 miles away on Wednesday and we both agree that DH should be transferred there when he is released from the geripsych unit. It formerly had it's own geripsych unit but has closed it and turned that wing into a new MC unit. There are two halls, one for men and one for women. The DON has been there 16 years and has worked with many dementia patients through her experience on the former geripsych unit. The staff has received specialized training and the Alzheimer's Association has given them input. There are only a few residents so far but with time I think that will change. They have only been open for a month.

On Thursday, we visited DH at the geripsych unit. He looked thinner but good. He was confused and tried very hard to talk to us. Most of the time his words came out making no sense but we tried to understand what he was trying to tell us. He was glad to see us and hugged us close. He even told our son that he loved him. That brought tears to both our eyes. In a moment of clarity, he said he appreciated us. He was in a wheelchair and when he tried to get up, an alarm would sound. We did help him up once so he could look out the window and see the trees. He asked if we could go out to play. That was hard. His nurse came in and talked to us. She told us what medications he is now on and how they had changed the meds he was on when he arrived. She said she could understand why he had been so zombielike. He was being given strong meds during the day that should only have been given at night. It's so sad that his MC would do that to him.

I guess I should feel relieved that he has a place to go upon discharge but all I feel is tired and sad. Of course I'm grateful he has a place to go but am dreading the 40 minute drive each way to see him. And I am wondering if he will be able to return to baseline once he's settled in the new MC. Hearing him speaking word salad for the first time was so very sad.

jfkok and HB said what I'm doing might help others. I hope so. Thank you all again.

Brenda

M5M

Brenda, thank you for the update. It shows us that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel…..even if it is 40 miles each way!. As others have said, your experience has been a learning experience to many of us, and we appreciate your willingness to share. Prayers you are able to get some restful sleep and recuperation, and that your DH settles well in his new home. And, it may be that he is in better care than before, you both deserve it.

M5M

ARIL

Thank you for the update. I too have been wondering about you and feeling worried for you. You have done a great job in an extremely difficult situation, and it is so generous of you to share these experiences with all of us. It alerts us to a whole bunch of things. Very helpful.

Fingers crossed that this will be a positive turning point for your DH. The new place sounds good, and since they are familiar with the circumstances, I expect they will be attentive and supportive.

Last year I moved my dad from one MC to another because I wasn’t satisfied with the quality of care at the first place. I worried a lot about the impact on him of the move, but it has been fine. He settled in, and I am more content. After he was in the new MC for a while, one day he said to me, “This place has made a lot of improvements lately.” I agreed! :) I hope your experience is similar.