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Questions about memory care

My husband has been in a secure memory care unit for 3 weeks. It's noisy and the shared areas are crowded. About a third of the residents are non-verbal. There are 18 patients with a nurse and two CNA's. After lunch, everyone is told to go to the TV room where they seem to stay until dinner, unless they decide to take a nap.

There doesn't seem to be much help for those who are able to dress themselves, in terms of choosing appropriate clothing or hygiene. When I visited yesterday, DH had his boxers layered over his pants. His dresser drawers are broken, and I find his room mate's urine soaked clothing around the room. I let the staff know about these problems, but they don't seem to be corrected.

There are very few activities, and the ones I've observed are just handing people coloring pages or worksheets without much interaction. His medication was changed without informing me, but I think I got that corrected. The best treatment so far is OT twice a week.

He's losing ground quickly. I know I would if I were in that setting. He has Medicaid pending and there is only one other program in this area that will consider pending cases and it has a one star medicare rating and some serious safety issues. He is so sad and anxious there, and visits are stressful for both of us. Medication is 25 mg of Sertraline and .5 mg of Risperidone.

I could bring him home and apply for case management and home based services but there would be a gap of a month or two. I'm not sure what to do. When I ask the staff about the rapid decline, they just tell me "Well, it's a progressive disease." Any thoughts or suggestions?

Comments

  • Gator1976
    Gator1976 Member Posts: 81
    25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments
    Member

    Sorry you’re having to go thru all this. If both you and he are unhappy with this MC facility. It might be best to start the process of hosing one that meets your expectations for care and atmosphere. Caring is so important on everyone’s part when taking care of MC patients. If one does not meet your expectations, you may need to look a bit farther away. Maybe use social media like Facebook to search for a memory care group in your area. You can also talk to a minister at a local church. They visit most all these kinds of places for members families. Reach out to your local social services department or Alzheimer’s Association nearest you.
    Best to you, we are here for you. Your not alone no matter what.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 284
    100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    18 resident to 2 aids and 1 nurse sounds about right. Talk to the administrator, see what activities is doing with them or what they should be doing. They will ask a resident to change clothing but if they say no they will not make them. Take all your complaints to administrator or Don. It will really will not do that much good to complain to nursing staff.

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 268
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    My DH has been in MC 17 days. The conditions sound a bit better than what you describe there. It is difficult to see the residents that are non-verbal/non-ambulatory. I agree with taking everything up the chain of command to the administrator. This is so difficult. I can't advise you on what your decision should be. You may want to check out the other facility and see if other would be better for you and him.

  • M5M
    M5M Member Posts: 197
    100 Likes Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    H1235, is this a "Skilled" level nursing home? There is a fairly good nursing home near us and I have wondered if that might be a good choice if/when… DH is not agitated or a flight risk, so I may think some more about this.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 1,234
    1000 Comments 250 Care Reactions 250 Insightfuls Reactions 250 Likes
    Member

    Yes. Where mom is at the doors are locked to prevent someone from wandering off. I believe there are medical requirements to qualify under Medicaid, but I think with dementia that probably wouldn’t be an issue. Unlike her Al the staff is so much more qualified. I think you would just really have to look around well to make sure it’s a nice place. I have seen some horrible nursing homes too.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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