Dealing with BM Clean up!

JC5

Being straightforward and honest here so …DH had a BM accident. After he took his clothes off and sat on his bed with his dirty bum he did get in the shower. Went in to get his clothes and bedspread to wash and almost got sick from the awful smell! I had to leave his room. I felt bad for asking him to bring the stuff down to the washing machine, but I just couldn’t do it. How does everyone handle this?

harshedbuzz

@JC5

I am so sorry. This is a dealbreaker for many loving caregivers.

Cheap foam shaving cream from the dollar store can help mask the odor and make cleanup a bit less onerous. Stink balm can also help.

https://stinkbalmodorblocker.com/

Odoban is great for cleaning things like fabrics and flooring.

https://www.odoban.com/

HB

Chammer

Many health care professionals use a face mask w fragrance/odor killer sprayed inside. The odor ban product should work for that and the mask will mostly cover your face which could be showing great displeasure at the offensive smell.

tonyac2

This is an awful task, cleaning up after a BM. I’ve been doing this for quite awhile as my husband is immobile and in a lift while using the bedside commode. I like Thieves Spray. It’s a little spendy, but does an excellent job of eliminating foul odors. On the laundry end of it, I put a cup of vinegar and a cup of baking soda in with the detergent pod. This combo takes out the odors.

Chance Rider

JC5, thank you for bringing this up. We’re not “there” yet but I want to be prepared if/when the time comes. One thing I simply cannot stand is the smell of skunk. Living in the country we frequently experience the strong odor of a nearby skunk. Weird maybe but Vick’s VapoRub dabbed under my nose is very effective.

Cat K

The fecal incontinence will be the thing that breaks me in two. Yesterday DH had very loose stools. Several times I had to change and clean him. The breaking point was when he had it all over himself, down his leg and into his bedroom shoe. Cleaning him up and getting him into the shower—he balked and resisted and said he didn't need a shower—was the worst thing I've gone through so far. My mantra used to be "as long as he knows who I am I can handle anything." That no longer applies. Every day I hate to get out of bed and face the day, not knowing what horrible experience I'll have. I take care of two dogs, five cats, and DH with mixed dementia, who is probably stage 6, and I don't know how much longer I can bare it. No support system other than palliative care. How do we do this day after day after day?

JC5

oh boy thank you all for your responses! Wasn’t sure if I should post this, but I was so overwhelmed and hoped this board would help. You came through as usual and the some! Thank you 😘

Chammer

@ladytexan created the Blue Glove Award for these very circumstances. 😁

Daughter of a Marine

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/254251#Comment_254251

Cat K, I am so sorry to hear all you're going through! I can relate - my DH is now incontinent and also very resistant to showering. He's 200 lbs and 6'1" but can no longer have a conversation due to his aphasia. Our family made the decision to place him in memory care which is wiping us out financially but I felt I had no choice. He was getting up at night and not safe. If placement is an option for you, or bringing in some help, I hope you'll consider it. You matter and I pray you can find some help and support. You are amazing and a true hero!

Daughter of a Marine

Anna2022

I created a bucket of supplies for the eventual issue. I included masks, vicks-vapo-rub, gloves, sponge, various wipes, and shaving cream. I can re-supply easily, add items as necessary and it's ready to go when needed. I learned about this here!

annie51

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/254348#Comment_254348

Great idea! Good for the urine issues too.

Cat K

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/254337#Comment_254337

Thank you for the kind words. Every day I feel like the biggest failure. My husband is just under 6' and 195 pounds, so pretty large, and not easy to care for. Memory care would wipe out our savings. I've read posts where someone lives with dementia for eight, ten, fifteen or more years. It's awful to admit but I get depressed when I read how long someone can survive with this horrible disease. Fifteen years! I might be the first to go.

sandwichone123

When you realize you may be the first to go, make sure also to realize that, although caring for your spouse is important, it's also important to carve out times and spaces for yourself. Realizing that this life may be all that we have should encourage us to live it even while caregiving.

Bailey's Mom

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/254389#Comment_254389

That is a very good point. I have pretty much given up on life and feel that it is over for me…if I could 'carve out some time and space' for myself I might be able to change that feeling a bit.