struggling

jen ht

Hi dear community,

I know you all will get it. I'm having one of those days. I feel like I can't be all of the places that I need to be. My nerves feel fried.

Just wanted to say that if this is also you, my hand is in yours. 💜 And you are not alone.

A friend shared this (see pic) about emotional burnout and I felt it in my bones.

I just cannot accommodate any more challenges.

Take care,

Sending you loving kindness and understanding,

Jen

SDianeL

sending you love and hugs. 💜

JulietteBee

@jen ht, I am having one of those days too. Hugs are being sent your way. 🫂

Anonymousjpl123

Jen I feel you. I hope it gets better. I found I needed to take a short break from it all and if you can, that may help. Even just a short walk every day, a few days off, after getting through all the obligations. Hope you get some rest.

GinaDesi888

Amen! You aren't alone although I know that isn't always comforting. I hope you have someone willing to let you take breaks. Even respite care for like a week to rest and relax. Hang in there! You're doing an amazing job!

jen ht

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255522#Comment_255522

Thank you so much! And I am sending them back to you too.

jen ht

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255524#Comment_255524

Thank you so much! I am sending them back to you, too!

jen ht

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255533#Comment_255533

Thank you. These are such wise words that you share here. I think I have gotten stuck in "give mode". I know I need to get into recharge mode soon. I am wishing you well.

jen ht

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255539#Comment_255539

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I appreciate you replying. Take care!

Deborah Rose

Hi. I am sorry WE are going through this. THANK YOU SO MUCH for HOLDING MY HAND!!!!! I felt that with my heart & soul.

Becky715

I feel you completely! I am new to this site but I have been living and taking care of my mom for the last 2 years. She has not been formally diagnosed, but I see the signs. I have learned that the hard days do pass and I thank God all the time for the good ones.

Karen711

I get it! Sending you a big hug.
If you have no one to cover you for a much needed break, consider:

canceling all your obligations, grab your LO and go do something with them that’s way out of your routine. Beach, walk, ice cream cone, movie… . Sometimes this helps me when I’m feeling compressed , fried, exhausted, sick- that I feel like I’m going to explode or collapse- not sure which. Just getting out of the house and changing the view can help. Sending a big hug💜

Karen

otfgirl750

Sending you hugs. I am so sorry you are going through this.

Dmr26

hello. new to the site. I take care of my mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimers and vascular dementia and Neuro Dr said a bunch of other cognitive things (waiting for letter that states everything he saw on her MRI). I've always been the family member that feels that I need to make sure everyone else is OK...I've always been there for mother and brother etc. Now I'm the only caregiver for my mother and I an feeling so many emotions all at once, to the point of sick to my stomach- when I go through something hard, I have trouble eating...I know we have to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our LO but I am really struggling and feel like im going to just breakdown m. I reached out to the Alzheimers Association and finally got some help and started looking at these posts which help but I just dont know how to cope well enough like when I'm with her I get emotional seeing this disease affect her and I have to go to bathrm to cry so she doesnt see me. She us in an Independant living fac and we are moving her to their AL Apts in 2 weeks. She has to give uo her dog, which Zim trying to rehome as unfortunately I can't take her as husband is allergic - so that is killing me too, trying to find good home for her! And mother's boyfriend she lived with just passed away a week ago. I feel like I was just dropped into this insane alternate reality and I just want out. My husband helps as best he can thank God. But like most of you, my mother has hallucinations, doesn't think she needs help to the extent she does, sks same questions all day/night, gets angry and sometimes mean or lashes out at me. I'm hoping the AL will help her - I know it will help to know she is safe and getting her meds etc. AL apt is in same bldg so she will still be able to do the activities and see her friends - its a 'shared apt' but has own good size bedrm, walk-in closet, big bathrm then shares livingrm and patio (she has her furniture on her 'side' and shares kitchen but has her own full size fridge. She is very social so I think it will be OK but not sure she will like having other person in apt. Anyway its only thing she can afford to include the cost for the care.

I guess I'm just scared and feel that I need to be stronger to deal with all this but I get depressed and physically burnt out so just wondering what anyone else does if they feel like that. I'm looking for counseling for myself as well to help me deal with this so ai can help her as this is not pleasant for her at all and I hate that she is going through this.

I guess I'm just so sad and drained and wanted to reach out. I'm glad this community exits and it helps to see I'm really not alone even though it can feel like it a lot. I'm also wondering if I tell her results of MRI or say as little as possible about it ?? She really has a lot of issues going on imwiyh brain - it took me aback at just how much decline or how many diagnoses there is - I knew she was showing more and more signs of dementia but hsd no idea her brain is as 'unhealthy' as it is.

Thank you for reading my long post. I pray for ALL caregivers and their LOs!!!!!!!!

DR

SDianeL

Welcome. Sorry about your Mom. You are at the right place for info and support. You are replying to an older post. I would copy and paste your post as a new post with subject so you get more replies. To create a new post, click on the plus sign in the lower right. My concern about your Mom going into AL rather than MC is that in AL she could wander off because it’s not a locked facility. In addition, the caregivers in MC are better trained to deal with dementia patients. As your Mom progresses you may have to move her again. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which was recommended by a nurse. Come here often. We understand what you are going through.