Safety concerns

DannyN

I have been caring for my Mom who was last assessed at moderate stage Alzheimer’s. I moved in with her about two months ago due to the frequency of late night calls and confusion I was seeing. Last night a friend of mine raised his voice at my 19 year old son for something unrelated to my Mom. She began to spiral into paranoid thoughts and believed that there were threats of violence (which there was not) and even said at some point later in the evening that my friend had fired a gun during the incident (which also did not happen). She began to feel safe after we arrived home and reviewed all of the windows and doors were locked and we were safe. She was up and down through the night saying someone had been in her room and was going to hurt someone. I was able to sooth her and she would lay back down in bed. This morning she was highly anxious and said someone was in the house and was frantically looking around the house. I went out into the garage for a moment to look for any signs that she had tried to leave the house (we typically come and go through the garage). I came back in and she was standing there and had a butcher knife in her hand hiding it behind her leg. When I asked her about it she shushed me. I reached for her wrist to get the blade and she allowed me to take it after initially pulling it away. She had been delusional overnights almost since I moved in and seems to be more nightly. I had not previously removed knives or other objects because she had never hinted or gestured toward using anything that way. Is this one incident along with the delusions around people out to harm us enough to prompt considering memory care? I am the only family caregiver and I have a full time job that has been very understanding so far. I work from home and they have understood when I could not attend in person events. Moving in was an attempt to prolong that possible eventuality. Thoughts?

DannyN

I should mention, she was checked for a UTI last week and was negative and the only change is that we stopped Aricept when reality and dreams/delusions had become more prominent. That change took place last week too. No dramatic change at that point and I think the increase focus on physical safety is a result of my friend/boyfriend having raised his voice at my son.

SDianeL

hallucinations and delusions are common. Watching news on TV or a show with violence can trigger it. Or the yelling she overheard could have. Talk to her doctor about medication to help. My husband was on Risperidone. She needs 24/7 care. Either at home or in MC. You are in danger. Lock up anything that can be used as a weapon. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day”

harshedbuzz

@DannyN

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Dad had some similar behavior in stage 5 moving into 6; she may have progressed since her last evaluation. I mention this because your caregiving situation may become unworkable as she develops incontinence and needs more supervision. You should certainly be crafting your Plan B even if you hope to put off placement.

It's important to remember that emotional intelligence remains well into the latest stages of dementia. They can be freakishly good at reading mood and body language as well. Alas, the cognitive losses often prevent PWD from processing what they've witnessed and can carry anxiety and fear as a result.

Whatever transpired between boyfriend and son should not happen in your mom's home. If they generally rub each other the wrong way, it's probably best they're not there at the same time. Dad was very triggered by what he saw on TV as well. I had to put parental controls on the TV to keep him off the news. TWC and the stations that carry mom's crime shows.

Medication could be very helpful at dialing this back as well.

HB