Fundraiser Flyer Agitates Husband

Brenda6335

Hello AlzConnected Community, I am new to the discussion group. My 74 year old husband went from Mild Cognitive Impairment to Alzheimers diagnosis in the Spring of 2025. I look forward to learning from others in the same situation. This morning my husband opened a fundraising letter from Alzheimer's Disease Research. It had an insert that showed a normal brain, a MCI brain and a late stage Alzheimers brain. I was okay with that, he has a biology degree and can understand that. What I was not okay with was that it stated life expectancy of Alzheimer patients after diagnosis. His doctor had told me similar stats but I never shared them with my husband. Now, I am dealing with anxiety and agitation as he processes this and worries that he only has a few years to live. I tried to reassure him that no one knows how long a patient can live with the disease and to think about others we know who had the disease and lived for years longer. I started a puzzle and asked him to join me but he keeps bringing it up. If anyone has other suggestions to ease his mind, I am open to them. Thank you for reading. Caregiving is love in its purest form. Remember to show that same love and patience to yourself. You deserve it. Brenda

towhee

Hi Brenda6335, welcome. Sometimes information associated with strong emotions will be retained longer by the PWD. You might try having someone call him who he does not talk to everyday, that he would be happy to hear from, with some news or chit chat (just a short call). Do not mention the letter in the call. Immediately after the call move on to food, activity, etc. Carefully disappear the letter for a while, and if he brings it up again say something like "they are trying to raise money, of course they give the very worst case". Short explanations, fewer logic chains.

M5M

I was at a meeting this week where the person next to me said her husband had been diagnosed in 2004… the basic take-away from this situation with the mail is to screen the items before he gets to them, as much as you can. I throw away mail pieces frequently that he doesn't need to see….travel brochures, for instance. He wants to travel again, there is no way he could maneuver an airport or train, all the walking, finding, standing, etc involved in travel.

jgreen

Hi, Brenda. I am new as well. Watched a video the other day that gave tips on how to deal with anger. It is from the Care Blazers site.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OuCSkaXX7pQ

One tip I remembered is to acknowledge your LO’s feelings. So if he is worried about ‘how much time he has left’, you might restate that and say something like “I am so sorry that upset you. I am here with you and together we will face this head on. Let’s enjoy each day we have together.” And then maybe go for a walk or sit quietly together in the moment.

I’ve face anger challenges with my DH when he wants to drive somewhere ‘right now!’ I’ve acknowledged that it must be so frustrating to have to rely on someone to drive when he used to do it by himself. Then we agree on a schedule for me to drive him where he wants to go. Letting him know that I hear him seems to help in those situations.

Hope you find the video helpful

Take care

tboard

yesterday my DH was agitated for hours. He decided that he was going to die. He didn’t die and seems to have forgotten the whole thing. The only advice I have is if you can get what ever it is he is reading away from him and hide it he won’t keep reading and reliving his grief.

The disease does impact coping and reasoning skills. If you can find a distraction that may help.