caregiver for my dad who is 89 and has dementia

tovermyer

My dad had been living with a lady friend for 2 years then she felt she couldn't take care of him anymore which i understand. He lives with me now but goes to visit her everyday. My question is how do i deal with the fact that when its time for him to come home she isn't very helpful . I have to be the bad person all the time. Plus sometimes he leaves and she doesn't let me know or try to stop him and then i have to go look for him. Any advise

H1235

Welcome. I assume it’s not safe for him to leave her house alone. If that’s the case maybe it’s time for the visits to stop. If thats the case he is not safe with her. Could you talk with her and tell her you think the visits are too much for him, or come up with some other kind of excuse. You could tell her it’s not safe for him to leave alone, but if you have to tell her that she probably just doesn’t get it and like I said is probably just not safe with her. Does he have a phone still? If not this obviously would make cutting the tie’s easier. Maybe you could tell her she needs to visit him. Would she visit? I hope you can find a solution.