Husband

Boolean

Hi all,
My husband has Lewy bodies and was saying last night he’s dying, he said it again in the early hours of this morning, can anyone give advice please.

Gator1976

We all are dying, certainly at different degree’s but still dying. We all have a finite amount of time on this earth. Only God knows how much. Agree with him and then include yourself in that conversation. There’s no guarantee’s you will outlast him either. Marginalize it and include yourself in that discussion. My wife has ALZ. She said the same thing but added, she didn’t want to live any longer. This happened twice, twice I had to call #988. Twice the counselor talked her down. She could live another 20 years, who knows. When this subject comes up, I turn it around and include myself then add,”that’s why it’s important to make the best of each day, none of us are guaranteed that day or the next. Be the best “you” you can be today and just take each day as it comes.”

Best of luck to you, we all are in the same boat 🌎, and are not guaranteed anything.

trottingalong

I agree with @Gator1976. My husband often says the same thing to me. He also says I should have married a younger man (we are 12 years apart). I tell him I did marry a younger man (1st husband) and he died. I tell him there are no guarantees on how long any of us will live. I tell him I could die tomorrow (though I sure hope not). It always seems to settle him down. I say let’s take one day at a time and enjoy that day. This is a very common topic in my house.

Leesee

My DH (M70) will bring up that he's dying and I always let him know his doctors and I are taking very good care of him. I don't know why, but this assurance that he's getting good quality care makes both of us feel better.

tboard

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74405/husband

My DH with mixed dementia often says that he is dying. Sometimes I can figure out what he needs. Is it sleep? Food? something to drink? A distraction? I keep a copy of the most recent Sunday paper handy and it entertains him for hours. What doesn't work is disagreeing with him or agreeing with him.

jfkoc

I would suggest understanding why he feels he is dying and how he feels abut dying. My biggest regret is that I did ot do this with my husband.

Dio

When my DH was going through this phase, when he was told he has dementia and there's no cure, he also asked about whether he's dying. Whenever this came up, I'd say, "the moment we're born, we're all dying. It's inevitable. There's nothing to fear. It's how we live that matters. Let's enjoy every moment we have." It seemed to work, even today whenever this comes up I'd reply the same.