Caregiver for dad

LisaMarieB

My Dad is 75 & has dementia. It’s so bad that he wasn’t paying his mortgage for over 7 months. My husband and family had to move in to help save the house. I work full time but took some time off to help get my dad situated. We’ve been living with him for a month now and I’m mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted already. I have to watch him constantly because he does things that are unsafe and don’t know what to do. He leaves doors wide open, looses house keys and is starting to lose balance here and there. He gets mad when I tell him to keep the doors closed especially since there are tons of mosquitoes and my daughter is allergic to the bites. I don’t know what to do, he makes my cry every day. I know it’s the dementia but still it’s hard. I will have to go back to work soon and his insurance will not pay for a live in facility l. He’s on SSI and gets a pension from the job he retired from but isn’t to much monthly. We can’t afford to help him especially now since we’re saving his house. We live in California, does anyone know if there is help?

H1235

Welcome. Does anyone have a DPOA. This is one of the first things that should be done when there is a dementia diagnosis. Medicaid might be an option. I will attach a website for information by state. A lawyer would be able to help with this. Would selling his house give him enough to cover care. In my state Medicaid will only partially cover Al or will cover it in full for a real dump and in many states not at all. Nursing homes tend to be covered 100% provided all the requirements are met. I found a very nice nursing home for mom. It’s an hour away, but it’s a good place. I had a hard time even considering a nursing home. So while a nursing home may sound awful, don’t write the idea off without looking at options. You should also know that some facilities will have a waiting list to get in. You might also try your local commission on aging. Based on your description it sounds like he needs 24/7 care. That is going to be very expensive to get in his home. I will also attach a staging tool. This has care suggestions and age equivalence for each stage. I hope these things help.

DBAT.pdf

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/state-specific-medicaid-eligibility/

towhee

Hi and welcome. You might try your local Area Agency on Aging for information. Please determine if he has Social Security (SS) or Supplemental Security Income (SSI). It makes a difference when you are applying for assistance.