Memory Care Week 1

annie51

DH has been in memory care one week now. Biggest issue is his combativeness when being changed, which was a huge problem for me when he was home, as it is for many of you I’m sure. He’s also difficult to redirect when he’s doing something he shouldn’t, like taking a woman’s shoes from her room. Med adjustments are being made to try to keep him more calm and the doctor and nursing director assure me it will take a few weeks to settle in. I’m not panicking yet but I’m such a worry wart I can’t help thinking about it.

On the positive side they were able to get him showered and shampooed today! (I don’t know how many people it took 😉). They tried yesterday and almost got him in but had to stop. Another positive is that when he sees me he says things like “how did you get here?” or “what are you doing here?” which means he knows who I am. I stayed away 5 days before my first visit and was very nervous about whether he’d recognize me. And so far he hasn’t said anything about taking him home, which I also worried about. We walk a lot on the nice outdoor courtyard and look at big picture books they have in the small living rooms and yesterday they even coaxed him into the activities room and I sat with him there.

As for me, I filled up my schedule with things I’ve been putting off for a while, and I’m socializing again, but leaving plenty of time for visiting DH. Loneliness and sadness overcome me sometimes, as I expected, but I feel freedom that I haven’t felt in so long. So I can easily be upbeat when I spend time with him now and become his loving wife again.

It’s a tough adjustment for both of us but so far, even with the hiccups, I’m hopeful this will work out. Thanks for letting me unload!

SDianeL

So happy he’s settling in. Take care of yourself. Hugs. 💜

wose

Hopeful is good. Try to go easy on yourself and get some rest. I’m sure this is a huge adjustment and accomplishment for you.💜

Karen711

Thanks for the update- I’m happy for you that you’ve carried out your plan and now have some breathing room on the other side. Socializing sounds good, and also I’m sure “things” are hard in a whole new way. Agree with others- take special care of yourself!!!! Hugs

Chance Rider

I’m so happy to hear that things are working out for both of you. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it gives me hope. My husband was just diagnosed on 8/14/25, probably late stage 4. I know there’s a long road ahead. Posts like yours help me dig out from the sense of hopelessness that I feel.

lenbury

Hang in there....it is a difficult journey.