If missing them didn't have to hurt...

SDianeL

I've been hurting mentally & physically since my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The hurting became worse after he passed in August 2024. I recently saw an article about "Thought Stopping" to cope with grief. You can search for the Thought Stopping techniques online. It is helping but it takes practice.

The following is a post I read today about grief, guilt & what ifs… the Facebook group where it was posted is for widows & widowers. It made me remember the love we shared and the beautiful memories we made together. I know my husband would want me to do that instead of being sad so I'm going to try.

Love & hugs to you all. 💜

Here's the post:

"When I tell people that I am healed, happy, and love my life now, they always ask me the same question: “But don’t you still miss her?” I tell them, of course I do. She is still the love of my life. I just stopped confusing missing her with suffering. Missing her reminds me of love. It reminds me of what we built, what we shared, what the kids and I still carry forward. Suffering was what I created when I did not understand what I was doing to my brain and nervous system. It was the constant rumination, the guilt, the what ifs, could have, would have, and should have beens, the belief that feeling pain kept me connected to her or proved my love. Once I learned the difference, everything changed. Now when I think about her, it brings peace, not pain. Love, not loss. That is the freedom healing gave us. We still miss her, we just stopped hurting every time we remember. What would it change for you if missing them didn’t have to hurt?"

CampCarol

This is a really interesting read. I am nowhere near where this person is, but you’re right, it could be a goal. Thank you for sharing!