Approved for hospice

Cat K

DH has had palliative care since early this year. At the last visit 10/29/25, the nurse told me he is at 6e on the FAST scale. She called me the following day and said he now qualifies for hospice. I told her I would call her back to let her know if I want to sign him up. I know it's my decision, but I wanted to know what others think. No, what I really want is for someone to make the decision for me. What I really, really want is a do-over and not go through this. Anyway, I'm asking this wonderful group of people, who know exactly what I'm going through, for opinions. Thanks.

persevere

I just put my wife under hospice. It made me (and it will you) really have to take stock of how you’ll handle the ‘what if’ scenario. They won’t require it but they will encourage you to sign a do not resuccetate order that will then be signed by a dr. You will have that with you at all times or leave it for someone who may be watching your LO. Hospice is not curative. If your DH has a stroke or heart attack you make the decision to let nature take its course or pull him off hospice and seek treatment. DNR means no CPR. I guess this is where it gets more real than it already is. You are doing the right thing. And your heart will make the right decisions at the time of need.

Cat K

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257540#Comment_257540

Thank you for your post. I already have a DNR signed by his PCP. I'm shocked at how much he has deteriorated in just the past year, how feeble he has become. I guess it's time for hospice.

terei

We are all ‘terminal’. You can decide whether to extend his suffering or not. That is the way I look at it.

SDianeL

So sorry you are at this point. Hospice offers so much. They have counselors and clergy you can talk to. I would use their services. They will reevaluate every 6 months. 💜

Vitruvius

My DW has been on hospice for two years. I have seen no downside to hospice. Hospice provides much more help than palliative care.

It is true that with hospice you agree to forego curative treatment, but you can change your mind at any time and take your LO off hospice if you want such treatment. But frankly with my DW, after she reached Stage 7, I see no benefit to trying to cure other comorbidities should they arise. It could only serve to prolong her abject misery. 

Cat K

Thank you all for your comments. I value your opinions and support. This site has helped me so much. I know in my heart that it's time for hospice. Hospice will provide more resources for him, as well as myself, according to the palliative care nurse. Again thank you. 💙

midge333

Why would anyone want their spouse with severe dementia (stage 6 & 7) to undergo CPR or artificial life support? Even if successful, you are only prolonging suffering from a terminal illness…

Cat K

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/257581#Comment_257581

My thoughts exactly. I have a DNR for him, and one for myself also.

CindyBum

I'm so sorry you're at this stage, CatK. You do know your heart and we support you.

I had never seen the FAST scale. Damn. My DW is at 6d.

frankay

I tell folks please do not hesitate to call call Hospice if you think its time. They will tell you if your LO does not qualify. The call is the scariest part. My DH in stage 7 is on Hospice. It has been a sharing of a terrific burden with people who have knowledge, experience, empathy, compassion and patience. They are there for you. It is not giving up as I have heard from so many. I know this dreadful disease is terminal but I feel so much more at peace knowing there are people to guide me to that end and I am not alone.

Phoenix1966

Hospice does not necessarily start a countdown on your loved one’s time left with you, so don’t dwell on that. But it will offer up additional resources and aid, which I think you will appreciate. I received additional supplies and help when my grandmother qualified, and I do not regret the assistance.

elainechem

I got my hubby on hospice after two separate doctors at two different appointments asked me whether he was on it. The next day I called his doctor who sent in a referral for a hospice provider. The nurse came out that day to evaluate him and he was immediately approved.

They provided so much - hospital bed, supplies, oxygen (which he didn't need, but he got it anyway). They had a chaplain and a social worker to talk to if I felt the need. One of the things I liked best was that I didn't have to go anywhere to get his prescriptions - they were all delivered.

There wasn't any question about continuing life extending treatments. He didn't have any other serious medical conditions, just early onset Alzheimer’s. He was on it for almost exactly six months when he suffered a massive seizure and died 8 days later.

I highly recommend hospice.

jfkoc

I will always vote yes to Hospice for all of the benefits to my loved one and to me. I will only add that although each Hospice must offer the same basic services they do differ because the staffs are different. I would suggest interviewing imore than one and keep in mind that you can switch once started.

Jeff86

For me, hospice was not a difficult decision. When my DW reached stage7, I knew she would not have wished for medical care that would extend her life. The bigger issue for me was preparing myself to let her go.