Feeling upset

Cynthiaa1937

I am new here. Mom's 78 with Dementia & Diabetic going on 4 yrs now. The agitation is the worst. Today she wonder off. I had officer friendly contact me to find her. She took a bus and got lost. She is on meds but I'm like is it making it worse. I am exhausted of all this drama. Nursing home is not even an option. Long story why she can't qualify for medicaid. How does one deal with all these issues?

goodsoldier

I understand your situation, and it's beyond tough. First, please confirm what your state's Medicaid benefits income limits are. Not every state has allowed its Medicaid benefits to include as much as others do, but essentially (and please check with your state to verify all this stuff) those benefits are not given because your parent has too much money, etc. If she's 78, should be receiving Medicare benefits of some kind. It's terrible to try to help your parent cope with illness and memory loss/confusion, and still need to manage her finances. You might reach out to your county's Social Services Department on Aging. That office might also be known as Human Services, but if they aren't able to help with some of your concerns, they will likely know who could. You're doing a great thing. Take care of you, too!❤️👍

Cynthiaa1937

IL. Unfortunately we applied for Medicaid she only qualified for a spendown option. Mom's has Medicare A&B but it will not cover a long term care facility. I was asked to pay $6000@month by a long term care facility as an alternative); Thank you for hearing me out. It feels like a long journey.

H1235

I think spending down to qualify for Medicaid is just the way it works. They are not going to pay for her care if she has more than x money in the bank. I was so scared spending mom’s money right down to almost nothing, then hoping she would qualify. Mom’s lawyer suggested a prepaid funeral. She also paid out of pocket for Al until she met the maximum asset amount. Al was much nicer than a nursing home. Then I moved her to a nursing home when I had no other choice. Dementia is expensive! All her money will probably eventually be spent on her care.

SDianeL

read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Search online for dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow. Does your Mom live with you? Your doors need to be locked so she can’t leave. She could have been hurt or killed when she wandered. Your Mom needs 24-7 care, either in home care or a MC facility. The meds may be making it worse and she might need a different med or the dose increased. It takes awhile to find the right combo. A Geriatric Psychiatrist is the best type of doctor to manage her meds. Ask for a referral to one. Come back often for support. We understand what you’re going through.