When it rains...

ESkayP

When it rains, the grass gets wet. I know better than to traverse the back yard walking my dogs in the dark with wet grass. I was distracted. Tuesday, I had taken the day off work to go spend with my mother in MC, so I actually had more time to walk them leisurely. I slipped down a hill and broke my ankle. As I lay there in agony, even before I dialed 911, I wondered how I was going to be able to see Mom. On the way home from the ER, I called the hospice nurse and let her know what happened. She said Mom was currently stable but that they were setting up a hospital bed to help MC with Mom's sudden lack of mobility. She had already stopped eating or drinking more than little sips of water. I had to meet with the orthopedic surgeon for my ankle the next day and we set my surgery for Friday. That left Thursday free. MC called Thursday morning and asked if I was coming to visit. I could sense an extra urgency in the nurse's voice. My daughter had come to help me, and she drove me there. We made it in time. I was right there holding Mom's hand when she took her last breath. The MC staff and hospice nurse were wonderful at handling everything. I can offer details in that regard to anyone who wants to know what those final moments are like and those last arrangements that you will make on your LO's behalf. It was okay. It was all okay. I'm sitting here Saturday following my ankle surgery yesterday, at peace. I wanted to share with all of you here on the forum that no matter how carefully you try to plan for everything, to cover every need, to fill every gap, life will pull you into chaos anyway. One never knows in those final moments whether your LO is waiting for you to arrive or waiting until you leave to make their journey beyond this world. I can reflect now on what all happened from the beginning of Mom's official diagnosis two years ago with Alzheimer's, and I'm convinced that my efforts on her behalf were not in vain. However, there was a trajectory of time and purpose that ran a parallel path along with my strutting and fretting that led to this inevitable conclusion. I understand that now. On the other side of the chaos is peace and gratitude. I wish the same for all of you.

Anonymousjpl123

dear @ESkayP I am so so sorry for your loss - yesterday, and over the past two years. I am enormously impressed by the MC and relieved your daughter could get you there. I hope you will take some time to rest, recover, and grieve. You did I right by your mom. Being on this journey with you the past couple of years has made mine so much easier. Get some rest. I’m so sorry: my heart is with you.

Quilting brings calm

I’m sorry about your ankle. I agree about hospice. About 10 days before Mom passed, hospice increased their visits to daily. The day mom passed, the hospice nurse came in about 8…. She never left until a couple hours after mom passed ( which was at 1:30 or so).

ARIL

Thank you for this generous posting. You have my sympathy, and I am cheered that you could be with your mom in her last moments. So thankful for the care of the hospice and MC staff.

Dogs and wet grass! Broken ankle! Surgery! Oh no. I am sorry about all that, and yet I appreciate your philosophic lesson that is of use to us all. (I also appreciate the allusion to Macbeth!)

There will be time, tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow for you to tell us more, as it is helpful to you but only then. I am one of those who, as I look down the days to what will come, would be grateful for insights about last moments and the last acts of care. But only when/if you choose to share.

Take time to heal in all the ways. You did right and did well by your mom. May we all be cared for with such love and respect.

SDianeL

so sorry for your loss. Glad you were able to be with her in spite of your broken ankle. Her suffering is over. May she rest in peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Come back when you can and let us know how you’re doing. Hugs. 💜🙏

JulietteBee

Please accept my deepest condolences.🙏🏽

JeriLynn66

Thank you for sharing. My condolences in the loss of your dear Mother. Peace be with you.

harshedbuzz

I am sorry for your loss.

Wishing you peace as you have completed your task of caregiving and move forward. And an uncomplicated healing for your ankle.

HB

psg712

I am sorry for the loss of your mother and for the pain and struggle you have been through. Indeed, the journey alongside our loved ones with dementia does often seem like sound and fury, and it is good of you to remind us that there is peace and purpose that we don't see in the midst of the storm. But it is there. God bless you for your comforting words to us from your position of fresh loss.