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His Battle Has Ended

Daughter of a Marine
Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 92
Eighth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

The love of my life, my DH Joe, lost his battle with dementia on October 31. He was diagnosed 15 years ago and progression was slow until the last year when he was in memory care. It broke my heart to move him there but it got to the point where I couldn't keep him or myself safe. Hardest decision of my life. In Aug/Sept, his confusion and agitation worsened and we tried medication adjustments. In Oct, he stopped walking, talking, eating, drinking and swallowing. Memory staff were shocked at the sudden decline since even as he was progressing, he always said Thank You after a shower (which he hated). He was a big man (known as Big Joe) but was known as a teddy bear who took the hand of other residents and said God bless you. Our children and grandchildren were there as he took his last breath and i will never be the same. He was 78 and I had hoped for 10 more years of fishing, horseshoe and bag tournaments, dog walks, and family celebrations he'd loved. I can't thank you all enough for sharing your thoughts and experiences over these years. I'd prayed God would shorten his dementia journey and am so very grateful that He did. That said, I will never stop missing my love and will look forward to our great reunion one day. I will continue to pray for you all. Rest In Peace my love.

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Comments

  • annie51
    annie51 Member Posts: 482
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    My deepest condolences in the loss of Joe. You’ve fought a tough battle but your DH is finally free of this terrible disease. You’re in my heart and in my prayers.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,596
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    I’m so sorry for your loss. My DH Lonny also declined rapidly which I now see as a blessing. You were a great caregiver to your DH and made sure he was safe and well cared for. Cherish the beautiful memories you made together. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 🙏💜

  • Vitruvius
    Vitruvius Member Posts: 441
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    My sincere condolences. I wish you peace and strength in the days ahead.

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 210
    100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Member

    My heartfelt condolences to you dear Daughter of a Marine. I know your heart is broken in a million pieces. I hope you find some peace in knowing you were there for him every step of the way. 💜

  • Metta
    Metta Member Posts: 93
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    edited November 11

    May you be blessed with remembering the best years and family love. Prayers and love to you.

  • Chance Rider
    Chance Rider Member Posts: 129
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    I’m so sorry for the loss of your DH Joe. I hope you can find comfort in knowing he is at last free of this wretched disease and able to rest in peace. My thoughts are with you and your family 💜

  • jgreen
    jgreen Member Posts: 82
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    Hugs and prayers for you, Daughter. Please check in every now and again to let us know how you are doing.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 143
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    Member

    May His peace be with you and your family. So sorry for the loss of your dear Joe.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,988
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    I'm sorry for the loss of your dear Joe.

    HB

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 131
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    Sending you hugs as well as my thoughts and prayers for you and Joe.

  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 138
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    So sorry for your loss of the love of your life. Prayers for you and your family.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 1,299
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions Second Anniversary
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    I'm so sorry for the loss of your precious Joe. May the Lord comfort you and yours in this time.

  • Palmetto Peg
    Palmetto Peg Member Posts: 310
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    I'm so sorry about your loss. We all know it will come, but I don't think any of us will every truly be ready. I know I am not. I wish you peace and healing during this sad time. Keep those memories close to your heart. 💜

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,085
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    My heart goes out to you and your family. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear Joe. May God bless you with peace in the coming days and may you remember the good times.

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 49
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    So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and prayers.

  • ronda b
    ronda b Member Posts: 332
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    💔🙏

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 583
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    I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I too, pray for my DW to have a shortened dementia journey like your Big Joe did. May his memory be blessing.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 189
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    So sorry for your loss of your dear Joe. May the love you share and your wonderful memories comfort you going forward. 🙏🏻

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 218
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    I am so sorry. In my own experience, when my husband passed I was blindsided by the depth of grieving. Instead of being relieved, all the memories of him when he was well came back and left me almost paralyzed. If you experience, this, reach out to anyone or everyone. Many people expect you to be relieved, which is true, but the grief is all-encompassing. Thinking of you.

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 738
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    RIP Big Joe. Peace to you and your family

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 284
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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish peace for you through this difficult time.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 624
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    I am sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 880
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
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    My condolences. May you be comforted in that both your sufferings are over. May you find strength and joy again with the support from your family and friends!

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 92
    Eighth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
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    Thank you dear friends. I will continue to pray for you and your loved ones. My Joe was a kind and caring man and will be missed by memory care staff and family. I thank God for our years together and I will miss him forever.

  • Phoenix1966
    Phoenix1966 Member Posts: 266
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    Wishing you strength in the coming days.

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 825
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    I am sorry for your loss and wish you peace going forward. “Big Joe”- - I love it. My DH was “Coach”, beloved by his MC staff, several of whom keep in touch with me 2 1/2 years after his passing. (4 years ago, today, I placed him in MC; it still hurts as if it were yesterday.) Stay strong. 💕

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 161
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    I am so sorry for your loss. ♥️

  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 230
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    My thoughts and prayers go out to you. Although you will always love him and miss the man he used to be, he is now finally free and so are you. I hope you find happiness again in the years to come.

  • wose
    wose Member Posts: 296
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    Thinking of you and wishing you peace and strength. Rest in peace “Big Joe” 💜

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 837
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Care Reactions 500 Likes 500 Comments
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74577/his-battle-has-ended

    I am very sorry for your loss. Sounds like a wonderful man with a loving family.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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