My Mom Passed

Rob's Daughter

Hello All

Been a tough few days… my Mom passed away on Wednesday. Hospice gave me a call and said it would be a good idea to gather the family. My husband and I picked up by Aunt, and met my son there at my mom's bedside. We put a phone by her ear and my daughter was able to call and talk to my mom. We stayed for the better part of the day, I honestly didn't see a change in my mom from the day before and honestly thought, we will see her tomorrow (Thanksgiving). We took my aunt back to our house to visit with my parents dog and just be together for a bit…. Got a call from the facility that my mom had passed. We weren't gone more than a half and hour. I feel guilty, thinking if we would have stayed! However, hospice tells me that this is normal, my mom saw everyone, we stayed and she was protecting me, her daughter, as a last gift, for us not being there.

The hospice social worker, who has been wonderful, said to me that sometimes our hearts and heads don't connect. We knew (in our head) it was time for her to go, however our heart wasn't ready.

My Dad (who I honestly thought would pass first) is fine. He's content and easy going. I honestly do not think he knows my mom is gone. Maybe this is a blessing?

I'm honestly not sure how I going to make it thru on Friday. I planned the mass today with the parish priest and blubbered on the phone, I hope he could understand me!

Just wanted to thank everyone… my posts weren't many, but I have gotten so much information and support from you all.

We need to find a cure!

JeriLynn66

I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear Mother. Peace be with you 🙏🏻❤️

lisn2cats

I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

psg712

Very sorry for your loss. Hospice is right ... many times as a nurse on a cancer unit I would see family sit vigil for hours or days, only to have their loved one pass when they finally took a break and went home to rest or to the cafeteria for a quick bite. You were there when it mattered most. Hugs.

ARIL

So sorry and sad for you. I hope the mass will bring solace and comfort.

Yes, I think many people wait until the family has gone before they pass. My grandmother did that. It was almost as though she needed to be alone to let go.

SDianeL

I’m so sorry for your loss. Her suffering is over. My thought and prayers are with you and your family in the days ahead. Hugs. 💜🙏

ESkayP

My mother also passed away last month. We had a different experience. I broke my ankle the very day I was headed over to spend with my Mom. She had just had a birthday, and I was there all weekend to celebrate with her. She had one good day, and one bad. I went to work then made arrangements to be gone after the facility called and said Mom had taken a turn for the worse. I called hospice, and they were already on it. Then I broke my ankle! I was in the ER one day and meeting with a surgeon the next. I just knew Mom was going to pass without me, but she held on. My daughter drove me because I was half delirious on pain medication. I called my sister, and she said her goodbyes over the phone. I sat with Mom for about four hours before she passed away. The hospice nurse said Mom might have held on until I could be there. She also told me that many times, loved ones wait until their family leaves. My dad was that way. My mother and I stayed with him for two days after his stroke, then when I took her home to get some rest, the hospital called that he was gone. I've learned that either way it happens, peace comes no matter what. I don't believe the dying are ever really alone. There are many ways to say goodbye. Some folks say their goodbyes at the funeral or even some time after that. Every way is meaningful. I wish you peace throughout the holidays. I hope we all can find some solace in cherished memories.