She loves me and loathes me

Dizzy

My wife of 55 years has Alzheimer’s and I thought I could manage this problem. I watched my lovely mum disappear into the state of madness and in hindsight I think now I was too tough on my Dad for not being able to understand that my Mum (her original being) had left. He was arguing with her shell.

It’s my turn now and I’m a man of much resolve but I’m starting to struggle. My lady can’t remember yesterday or her grandies names.

She is on medication that appeared to slow or even stop the progression.

Xmas was okay with kids and grandkids. She got angry with me when everyone says don’t worry we’ve got it all under control. She got angry but I calm her and say the kids want to do this for you. Xmas over. Kids gone. She hasn’t spoken to me since. This example is typical of what’s been happening for the past couple of years.

She is paranoid about many things but especially the wind. All the time telling me she wouldn’t be flying or driving. Our Camper is parked up probably for ever.

We manage. I’m doing 95% of house work and cooking.

It’s my duty to.
She sits in her chair and watches the trees in the wind.

She has stopped talking to me. No matter how hard I try she appears to be angry with me. When we are in bed she sleeps very well. I reach out cuddle her and she responds affectionately with a squeeze of my hand.

But tomorrow she is bitchy and quiet. I understand the progress of the disease and later in the day I have the blank eyes looking at me but also hating me.

She’s smart enough to see Alzheimer’s support is not for her. The patients there are compliant with being talked to like kids. I’ve promised her I’ll never betray her and look after her forever. She understands all that. But she mostly now hates or at the least tolerates me. Everyone else is great

Dorse

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74931/she-loves-me-and-loathes-me

So very sad, this disease is. I was diagnosed with alzheimer's 5 months ago. I am now scheduled to get the infusions starting Jan. 26. This has been such a major decision to make. I feel so sorry that you are going through this.

Watson1

Dizzy i have alzheimers and the agitation is helped by anxiety meds. the other mild aggressive side of alzy is also now being helped with meds . alzy as you know is massively complicated and each individual of course different.the meds to slow down the progression are essential and working well for me. i have alzy and my wife doesn't, your wife has alzy and you don't. your life experience has taught you a lot about alzy that others have not gone through. but it also blocks you from the day to day that must be swept away to keep a clear path to the present…………….