When is a person considered incontinent?

RetiredTeacher

I wouldn't call my husband incontinent but he urinates frequently, like every 15- 20 min. We are home most of the time and he does go to the bathroom himself but every single pr of underwear has urine stains. He only goes a little each time he urinates. When we do go out he uses the urinal in the car 1-3x per outing and often uses the bathroom in the store. He has urge incontinence and can't hold it, sometimes even to get pants unzipped to use the urinal in the car. We have had several prs of wet underwear. I wouldn't consider him incontinent yet but when is he considered incontinent? If we didn't have a urinal with us whenever we leave the house it would be a real problem.

For those whose spouses are urinary incontinent is this similar to your experiences and then one day he just wets and doesn't realize? Trying to get a handle on what to expect.

Timmyd

My personal definition of incontinence is when there are things that should clearly be happening in the toilet that are regularly not happening in the toilet.

My DW knows she has to go and will get up. Either she cannot find the bathroom and will have an accident in a bedroom, or she will make it to the bathroom and have an accident there. She is aware of when she is wet and has had an accident. It is clear that she is upset / embarrassed about the incident. Right now accidents are once every couple of days, but I know it only gets worse from here.

jgreen

Hi @RetiredTeacher

Here is a definition from Mayo Clinic:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urinary-incontinence/symptoms-causes/syc-20352808

It is an inability to ‘hold it’ until you can get to the toilet in time. Unfortunately my DH is starting to have bowel incontinence - oh joy!

So sorry for you/us! After 52 years of marriage to a wonderful man, I am here for him as best as I am able. Some days I do have to grit my teeth though and just get to the other side.

Hugs 💝

Lilydaisy

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/74988/when-is-a-person-considered-incontinent

Great question. My DW also needs to use the bathroom about every 15-30 minutes when at home and usually gets to the the bathroom on time. Funny thing though, when we are out she doesn't use the bathroom unless we are out for an hour or longer. I never though of incontinence as also including frequency. Although it still seem like having accidents is the major issue.

H1235

I was actually just thinking about posting that question. Mom still manages all her own personal hygiene. She has had bladder leaks for a long time. Three years ago the leaks were bad enough that she started wearing depends. About 6 months ago she had to switch to the overnight depends during the day and the super heavy Tena at night. She is still able to use the toilet, but just doesn’t always make it in time. Lately she is complaining that when she needs to have a bowel movement she needs to go to the bathroom immediately and has had a few instances where she didn’t make it. She is upset this is happening and thinks there must be something wrong. She is upset with me and her doctor that this is not being taken more seriously. The facility has her listed as bladder and bowel continent. I would consider her incontinence of bladder and edging that way with bowel. I think managing her own personal hygiene with bowel incontinence is going to be very difficult for her. It’s going to be hard on her emotionally to deal with this as well. I have read that with vascular dementia incontinence can show up sooner.

RetiredTeacher

Ty all who responded, I really value your input and experience. I know he is not yet incontinent but with the urgency and immediate need to urinate, I think he is definitely headed that way.

Abby627

This happened to my DH. He was constantly running to the bathroom but could urinate very little. It ended up with a trip to the ER. He had an enlarged prostrate. They catheterized him that night. It all turned out ok and , after a couple of weeks, the catheter was removed and he was put on a medication to help with the enlarged prostrate. Please be sure to have somebody examine him with this in mind. I’m sorry you had another problem to deal with. This is such a hard thing to go through.

RetiredTeacher

Ty. Will look into RX for enlarged prostate.

Nowhere

in my husband’s case he gets to the toilet in time, but doesn’t want to sit on it, so he does all his 1’s and 2’s standing up over it. Sometimes he’s off by an inch or two. He no longer wipes. Because of this he needs daily showers. I call this semi incontinent. He wears briefs because otherwise his underwear and often his outerwear would require soaking.

SoCo Kirsten

Hello @RetiredTeacher

I second the enlarged prostate. they put my dad (79 yo, stage 5 of 7 I think) on Flomax and just added oxybutynin chloride ER 5 mg tablet,extended release 24 hr. His PCP, who I think the world of, feels it's a combo of the disease progression plus elder bladder problems. She said the bladder can sort of "fold" (my word) so it can't empty and always feels active. Good luck to you.

RetiredTeacher

Ty. Flomax tanked his BP to critical levels so I will make sure he's by a urinal or a bathroom. When true incontinence comes I have shields, depends and the waterproof underwear that looks like regular underwear